Dear Kitty,
I'm overwhelmed by conflicting emotions at the moment. There's a feeling of total elation every time I realise that I'm going to see the girls and everyone next weekend, and I can't wait to see everyone again. Fenny and Pop, too - I'm going to be staying with them from Friday through Sunday, and then I'm off back to Norfolk. Then there's a feeling of total misery as I realise that I'm leaving Paris and my flat and so many friends; the whole of choir, and Guillaume, and all the other people I've got to know this year. I went to Will's for lunch today, and we've set up a Facebook page for the choir! Everyone's joined, of course. Peter's making me go to the rehearsal on Thursday, because we're (well, they're) doing 'I Sat Down' on Sunday, and also because he wants to say goodbye 'properly' (which, knowing St George's, will involve copious amounts of alcohol). Charlotte and I are off to the Marais on Thursday afternoon, and I'm going up the Eiffel Tower on Friday.
There's also a feeling of dread. I want to go home - of course I do - but I have enjoyed being so free all year. I can come and go as I please, I take care of myself; I'm just quite independent now, and I can't have that at home. And Mum and Dad will be making me eat all the time (Mum said that she was going to 'feed me up' when I got home), which I don't want. Hopefully I will have jobs, so I will still be able to organise myself. And finally, there's a feeling of longing - longing for the self-control I used to have around food, and that I simply don't have anymore.
I want it back. I need it back. And I will get it back.
Yours,
Chessie
I'm overwhelmed by conflicting emotions at the moment. There's a feeling of total elation every time I realise that I'm going to see the girls and everyone next weekend, and I can't wait to see everyone again. Fenny and Pop, too - I'm going to be staying with them from Friday through Sunday, and then I'm off back to Norfolk. Then there's a feeling of total misery as I realise that I'm leaving Paris and my flat and so many friends; the whole of choir, and Guillaume, and all the other people I've got to know this year. I went to Will's for lunch today, and we've set up a Facebook page for the choir! Everyone's joined, of course. Peter's making me go to the rehearsal on Thursday, because we're (well, they're) doing 'I Sat Down' on Sunday, and also because he wants to say goodbye 'properly' (which, knowing St George's, will involve copious amounts of alcohol). Charlotte and I are off to the Marais on Thursday afternoon, and I'm going up the Eiffel Tower on Friday.
There's also a feeling of dread. I want to go home - of course I do - but I have enjoyed being so free all year. I can come and go as I please, I take care of myself; I'm just quite independent now, and I can't have that at home. And Mum and Dad will be making me eat all the time (Mum said that she was going to 'feed me up' when I got home), which I don't want. Hopefully I will have jobs, so I will still be able to organise myself. And finally, there's a feeling of longing - longing for the self-control I used to have around food, and that I simply don't have anymore.
I want it back. I need it back. And I will get it back.
Yours,
Chessie
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