Dear Kitty,            People have been asking me what's up, and I have finally decided to tell them. This may be long, so I'd stop reading now if I were you. Really. Go away. Now.            It's a list - number one, of course, being Hector. Those damn letters - I don't care what he says about me (well, I do, but much less so than the others, and that's beside the point anyway) It's what he's said about the others; about Fraser, Freya, Tom, and, most of all, Isla. I don't understand how he could say that. Isla's the dearest person in the whole world - she's always lovely and kind and friendly, and I don't know what I'd have done without her. She really is amazing, and it's hard to find anyone else quite so surreal or friendly. Really, she's absolutely terrific, yet she can't see it, and I can't understand why. Hector has only made me angry because of what he's said about her; it's all lies, but she won't believe me. It's horrible; how can anybody lie that much about somebody so wonderful? Or, in fact, about all the other wonderful somebodies mentioned (i.e. Fraser, Freya and Tom) It's horrendous, and it's made me so...well, exasperated is the only word that'll do there. I just don't understand it at all.             Number two is Tom. I'm worried about him, especially after what happened today. It's upsetting, and I really am worried about him now. Obviously, I'd already been worried - a new school, new people; it has to be stressful. So there's that too, and...oh, Kitty, it's hard to put all this into words. It's just that I worry about him in general, more so than anyone else, and after today, I think I'm just going to worry more. It's silly and irrational, I know, but I can't help it at all. I just hope that he's alright - I really do.             Number three is just what I generally feel about myself, but it's got worse recently. I've always thought these things, but now they're getting more and more oppressive. It's just all the general things that I think about myself - I'm stupid, I'm pointless, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm never going to be any good at anything, I'm a terrible friend, a coward, incredibly self-centred, irrational, irritating, and, oh, so many other things. The problem is that people always contradict me when I say these things, so, for once, please don't. I know they're true, and nothing anybody says will ever change that.             Number four is just that I don't understand what's going on any more and who I should listen to. Hector tells me to leave him alone, so I do, and then he gets cross with me for doing as he says. It's confusing, and I don't know what I'm meant to be doing now. Moreover, it's the fact that I can't talk to people - hence the letter. I've only ever managed to properly open up to one person, and...well, we know what happened there. It's not just that I'm afraid to, it's - it's confusing, and, to use my favourite word, complicated.              There are other things too, Kitty, but I really have to go - Maddy's tired, and I've still more work to do. I may write again soon, but if not, then until next time,Francesca