My dear Kitty,               So, it's a very different scenario to yesterday evening, and a lot has happened since Wednesday (again):           - I never have to do Latin ever again           - Or Biology           - Or Chemistry           - Or Physics           - I cried with laughter today           - My Music GCSE is now officially over           - As is my Chinese Asset Basic Level           - And I have finally realised what I want to do with my life except sing                The majority of those don't mean much, but now, in reference to the last one, I have actually realised what I want to do with my life. Of course, there are the things I want to do - become a famous actress and singer - and the things that I feel that I should do but also want to. Isla, of course, knows about one because I promised her that I would; I am going to find a cure for diabetes. I promised her this in second form, and I've never forgotten it. As I am never ever going to be able to do this myself, I am going to found a charity and call it something like the 'Foundation for Really, Really Insane Diabetics'. This will be for Isla, and I promise that I will do as much as I can to find a cure for her.               The second thing that I realised today that I want to do, as well as all the things I plan to do, like have a family, become famous AND found a charity. I am going to raise awareness of self harm. I only realised this today during Latin, but I hate the gross misconception that everyone who does self harm is 'an emo' or suicidal. I hate when people think things like that. So, I am going to raise awareness of it by doing anything I can; I don't know what that means, but I'm going to do it to help everyone who does self harm. It's for my friends, for my family and those that I don't even know. I don't know how it's going to happen, or when it's going to happen, or even how much of an impact it's going to have on anybody. But I have to at least try, and that's what I'm going to do.                The third that I realised today (don't worry, it's the last thing on my list) is that I haven't laughed enough recently. I've been so down, and I can't even remember what I've been upset about off the top of my head. But I have been upset, and now, thinking about it, what Fraser's said to me a lot has really...got to me. I understand. He's always told me that there's no point thinking 'I'll be fine in a few days'; you only ever get one life and one chance, and you have to do all that you can during it. You can't spend it all upset because when you get to Heaven, you'll look back and just realise what a waste it all was. So I'm going to try and be happy all the time now; admittedly, there will be times where it'll be hard, where it'll be not to do 'it' again, but I've got to try. I've spent so much of this year upset, I'm just thinking 'what's the point?' I don't need to worry about everything that I can't change quite so much. People will say things that will hurt a lot, do things that hurt a lot, but what's the point in dwelling on them? They're only things that people will say or do, and they won't affect the rest of my life; they'll be in the past, and I have to look to the future.              Thinking about this, I'm still not completely happy, but I'm smiling at the very least, and this time, I KNOW that things really will get better soon. In the meantime, I need to be there for other people who have it worse than I do, and do all I can to help them.    So, dear Kitty, I've probably just written a heap of drivel that makes no sense to you at all, but I understand it. It's always so much easier when everything's written out. I know that this entry seems very self centred, but at least I know what I'm going to do, what I have to do.               I'll write again soon; hopefully it'll be less muddled when I do.Ever yours,          Francesca