My dearest Kitty, This last week doesn't seem real. Since last Tuesday, I've had amazing highs and ridiculous lows. I've cried three times, which is a lot because I hardly ever cry. Life is just getting more and more confusing. This time last week, I had a boyfriend and everything was fine. The he flipped on Tuesday and I still don't even know why. I've been forgiven, but I don't even know what I was 'forgiven' for. And then everything changed on Tuesday, and, even though I should have been really upset, I went to the Coffee Tavern with Freya and Katie and Fraser, and it was amazing. It was so much fun, and we all went for a really long walk afterwards. I was ridiculously happy for ages afterwards, but then everything changed when our argument was over, and I reverted. I was upset. Really upset. And then, when we all seemed to be friends on Saturday and things, it was fine. Apart from the fact that Hector asked me out again every five minutes, and, frankly, it got irritating. I mean, yes, he's always been there for me, he knows me better than anyone, and I was so happy when we got together, and I was happy until we broke up - and then I...something clicked. And I was happy just being me again, instead of having people see me and say 'oh look, it's Fran. She's going out with Hector.' I was me. People wouldn't look at me; they'd ignore me. And that was how I was happiest. I know that that sounds insane, but it's true. I was so happy to just be the non-existent person that I am around the house usually. But things have just got more and more confusing recently. But back to the original point. So, he'd been asking me out every few minutes, and he was doing it today at break too, but, when I say no, I do mean no. But he didn't seem to accept that. I don't know why he wouldn't. And then he flipped out at me again, and I think it's because of something that I remembered that I said to Ed (a guy in my Latin set and in Hector's house) I'd forgotten about it because it was just meant to be a little joke-type comment. It was something along the lines of 'Do you know what I can do about Hector? He keeps asking me out!' It doesn't sound funny now, but it's because he was waving a stool at me like I was a weird lion or something, and I was using it in the context of the stool. And, naturally, being the stupid dimwit that I am, I automatically assumed that he knew that I was talking about the stool. But that's me for you; opening my ridiculously big mouth and not thinking about what I'm going to say. So he's upset, and angry with me. And it's all because of this one stupid thing that I said. I wish I could just go back to English today and not have said that. I'm such a twat and a bitch (sorry about the language, Freya) So, Hector, I'm sorry. I've just got your email. And I guess it is to do with this that you're so angry with me. I'm sorry that I said it, and I'm sorry that I've hurt you. And I'm also sorry for being so blunt. I'm just finally writing down how I feel. I'm not expecting you to be there tomorrow, as you said in your text, but it would be nice if you could be.As for you, my dearest Kitty, I'm sorry for weighing you down with all this. I've got to stop doing that. But thank you; you've helped me by being my sponge for all my bad emotions, and, sometimes, I think that you're the person who knows me best, even though you're not even real.I'll write more soon; I'm trying to hold off from doing 'it' again, but it's worse than it was last week. The only reason I'm not is because I'm going home on Friday and I don't want Mum and Dad to see.Ever yours,Francesca
Replies
I\'m not sure what to say, however if you need to talk to someone, I\'m here...
To be quite honest, I\'m not sure you\'ve done anything wrong, it was a joke taken the wrong way, that happens to everyone!
Fraser
dude i dont care about the language but youre neither of those things! youre kawaii, youre crazy, youre sweet and funny and the one who always knows what to do to make me smile! please, if you get this, text me! i have plenty of texts left and i want to talk to you! take care-we love you!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My dear, we shall have to have a gathering of library fiends avec Freya. I\'m sorry for not picking up on it sooner at lunch. But whenever you need it, you know you have all of us here for you to talk and support you. I don\'t think you\'ve done anything wrong, it all just a little loco at the moment. xoxo
babes i love you! katie did you mean friends or fiends?? OMG!!!! we should so totally call our group (the angels?) the fiends!!!
xx
i know someone who said \"is it cos im black\" ( as one does) to a black person before realising. needless to say that joke didnt go down to well. i am here for u fran. ill let u have 5 hugs on mon,5!!!!!! what a generous fellow i am :). i have plenty of texts and you can call me if u want.
love u!
xxx
i also realise this was ages ago but i thought i might aswell say it.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My darling Smoo...you appear to have completely misplaced your marbles these hols! Thank you very much...I\'m holding you to that!! Looking forward to Chemistry and Bilge? I\'m certainly not!!!
Love you too!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
P.S. loo :D
And, Katie, I think you\'ve been watching too much Gossip Girl!!!
xoxo to you too!
have u done all the papers??? i have 2 geo, 1 maths, a bit of bio and some chem 2 do still! and my art! shiittt!!!!