My dearest Kitty,               I am, once again, tired, stressed out, depressed and listening to Rachmaninoff. I am also, once again, thinking in German, which is both confusing for me and everyone else, so if this breaks into German halfway through, I am very sorry.               I'm worried; everything's going wrong. My whole world's been turned upside down within the space of forty eight hours.               Fraser's incredibly upset; I don't know how I can possibly help him. Something's really wrong and I don't know what is is or what I can do about it. He says he's fine, but he isn't and we all know it. I want to know what's up so that I can help him, but he won't tell me or anyone. I want him to tell me so much; to repeat his words, he'll 'feel much better if he just speaks to someone'. That someone doesn't have to be me, but I want to help so much. He's so distracted, and he just...isn't himself. He's not Fraser. He's someone I don't know and I don't know how I can help him. I just wish that he'd talk to me...or at least someone.               Freya: something's up with her and I don't know what. She's not herself either. I don't know what I can do for either of them. I hope that I can help her somehow. I mean, she's always happy, always bright, and now, it's like the sun's gone in. If I play the piano for her, maybe it'll come back out (in-joke - sorry) But if only I could just help.               And then, of course, there's Hector. Yes, I feel bad, but I'm just so angry. Not at him. At myself. For being so annoyed over practically nothing. I think I was just overtired last night, but, oh God, I...I just...I don't know anymore. Why did I flip? I don't know. And now I've hurt him. He sent me a message: 'So, are we talking again or am I still not worth it?' Of course he's worth it. How can he be so clever but not understand the smallest thing?Once again, time is not on my side, so I have to go. I promise that I will write more as soon as I can. I'm just worried that 'it' is going to happen again soon...Ever yours,Francesca