Dearest Kitty,               I don't know what to do. I've felt so bad all day, and I've tried so hard not to let it show...but Hector noticed and I'm just so distracted. I make up these terrible excuses for not concentrating, whereas, in reality, I'm just so...so...I don't know. I just feel so bad at the moment; I want to do it so much, but I know that I can't. The problem is trying not to though. I just feel so detatched, and then I feel even worse for showing it, so I feel like I deserve it when I do do it...and...oh, Kitty, it's all so complicated. I want to talk to someone so much, but I just can't even think how to approach the subject, never mind talk about it. I wish that there was someone who could open the subject for me, or who just understood about it all, and understood how I feel, for a change.               You probably think that I'm a terrible bore for only ever writing about how I feel at the moment, but I don't know how else to get a little of, if not all, the stuff off my chest. But you don't know how much you've helped, Kitty; just being able to write a little of how I feel down helps more than anyone can ever imagine.               I just wish that there was one person. The only  person I can talk to is Hector; I can talk to Hector about anything, and I want to talk to him about this...but I don't want to worry him at all. I don't want him to know about this, about anything like this at all.               But, Kitty, I just need to talk to someone. Just once. I can't only manage by writing to you. I need to talk, but...oh, I'm just contradicting myself. I want to talk, but I simply can't. If only someone could talk for me. If only...oh, if only, Kitty.Francesca