Dearest Kitty,              Me again, and today I feel awful. I don't know why; I feel bad because I got irritated with Hector, sad because Fraser was so distant, exhausted with trying to be happy all the time, fed up with trying to be cheerful and optimistic. I'm just sick of all of it. I'd like to scream, to shout, to finally be able to tell everyone how I feel, how I'm just tired of it all, and then to go and just...I don't know. I don't want to be here; I'd like to start a new life somewhere else, with no problems, and just be happy...but how could I be happy without everyone else? They've all done so much for me. I understand that, and I feel so selfish saying this...but, for once, I just want to be alone. I don't want to have to speak, to have to react. I want to just stay in my room and not have to leave.              I just want to be alone for a change. I'm fed up with being surrounded by people. I feel terrible; I want to talk, and yet I don't. I don't know how to talk to people, and I'm tired of having to tell people that. I wish that, for once, I wouldn't have to talk; that there would be someone who would just understand without my having to say anything.              It's not going to happen; I know that. But...oh, Kitty. I want to say so much, but I just don't know how to.Kitty, I wish so much that you were real.