hello
Hello dear moms,
it's been awhile since I've written last. My how I've missed you all!!!
I see the retreat was a success! I'm glad to have read that. Although I wish I would have had the strength to attend myself this year. Perhaps next year will work out better. I did order the cookbook tho. I am so looking forward to getting that!
I made it past the year mark for Brandon being gone. It was a tough day, but I made it through it. I still am not able to go to his grave, nor do I ever know if I'll be able to go there. I can't even go into his room yet.
Most of the time I still get choked up when I talk about Brandon, but not all of the time, which is progress right?
I remember him more and more instead of grieving him. baby steps.
it's been nearly 6 months since my Brother Mike passed away. That one is difficult to deal with too. My mother seems to be doing ok tho. better than I have anyway.
This past Monday, my brother Don, had a stroke. So he's in the hospital. At first he couldn't move his left side or talk. As of last night, he can talk and is gaining strength in his left arm. He hasn't had any movement from his left leg yet. But we're hopeful. he's 44. I will see him tomorrow. They moved him to rehab last night.
let's see.......what else is going on.
oh Brandon's dad isn't doing well. not well at all. He was diagnosed with metastatic neuroblastoma, it's a childhood cancer that is very rare in adults. The doctors say this will ultimately kill him. I have no words for him. I wish it were me instead of him ............. but that is between him and his maker. I have not talked to him because he is evil. but if I could I'd say something it would be............may god have mercy on your soul.
I feel bad for his other children. they are pretty young yet. 8 and 11.
My mom is having cataract surgery today hopefully that goes well.
so much going on.
We closed down the camper for the season last weekend. So this weekend we will be staying home, I'm kind of excited for that.
that's most of the major stuff............which is quite a lot when I think about it............ no wonder I don't know what day it is half the time.
Thinking and praying for us all.
Love you ladies!!!!
Lisa
it's been awhile since I've written last. My how I've missed you all!!!
I see the retreat was a success! I'm glad to have read that. Although I wish I would have had the strength to attend myself this year. Perhaps next year will work out better. I did order the cookbook tho. I am so looking forward to getting that!
I made it past the year mark for Brandon being gone. It was a tough day, but I made it through it. I still am not able to go to his grave, nor do I ever know if I'll be able to go there. I can't even go into his room yet.
Most of the time I still get choked up when I talk about Brandon, but not all of the time, which is progress right?
I remember him more and more instead of grieving him. baby steps.
it's been nearly 6 months since my Brother Mike passed away. That one is difficult to deal with too. My mother seems to be doing ok tho. better than I have anyway.
This past Monday, my brother Don, had a stroke. So he's in the hospital. At first he couldn't move his left side or talk. As of last night, he can talk and is gaining strength in his left arm. He hasn't had any movement from his left leg yet. But we're hopeful. he's 44. I will see him tomorrow. They moved him to rehab last night.
let's see.......what else is going on.
oh Brandon's dad isn't doing well. not well at all. He was diagnosed with metastatic neuroblastoma, it's a childhood cancer that is very rare in adults. The doctors say this will ultimately kill him. I have no words for him. I wish it were me instead of him ............. but that is between him and his maker. I have not talked to him because he is evil. but if I could I'd say something it would be............may god have mercy on your soul.
I feel bad for his other children. they are pretty young yet. 8 and 11.
My mom is having cataract surgery today hopefully that goes well.
so much going on.
We closed down the camper for the season last weekend. So this weekend we will be staying home, I'm kind of excited for that.
that's most of the major stuff............which is quite a lot when I think about it............ no wonder I don't know what day it is half the time.
Thinking and praying for us all.
Love you ladies!!!!
Lisa
Replies
The first few years are so very intense with so many emotions, and it can be overwhelming! You have been through a lot this year! No wonder you just want a weekend at home. I will say prayers for your brother and Brandon\'s dad. Try to hang in there, it does get better, eventually but it takes a long, long time. In the meantime, we just keep one step at a time and one breath at a time. Sending love and tight hugs, Leda
Wow, you have so much going on right now that it has to be overwhelming if you really sit and think about it!! I am so glad you will be @ home this week-end - that is my safe place where I can just do what I need to do. I\'m coming up on two years and this 2nd year has been so so tough....my heart just hurts most of the time but like you, little things I think I\'m making progress.
Do whatever it is that you need to do FOR YOU!! (((((hugs)))) Vicki
There is progress everyday...sometimes it may not feel like it ...but it is happening. You are doing the work that goes with grief...and it can be so exhausting, so be sure to take time to rest.
I am so sorry that both you and your mom have both lost sons. I am curious...do you two share your heart with each other? Could be an awesome support system.
I sure hope that your brother continues to improve...
Love and gentle hugs...Karen
love and hugs to you.... we do go to the cemetary every sunday,,, but her room is .... still the same ,,, the door remains closed... love ya!
It feels as if you have had a lot to sort through on every level and my mom and I shared about our losses as she had lost her eldest son, my brother, Rick and then I lost Doug. She told me that she never, ever wanted her daughters to feel the sorrow and anguish of this loss and it was a common bond that we shared as mothers. It was also a heart connection that I had to my dad too... Perhaps in time as Karen said, this will become a bridge where you meet one another.
Take the most gentle care of yourself that you can, Lisa, and when you do reflect you do see how much is happening in your life. Each of it takes up a lot of energy.
Hand in hand and Heart to heart,
XO Joanie
My Cassi has been gone a little over a year and a half and I have a hard tim./e going to her final resting place as well. I did not expect to be this way. I thought I would be there a lot. But for some reason I don\'t feel anything when I go...deep down I know she isn\'t really there, but it still makes me feel guilty. I also have a hard time going into her room. There are still boxes and boxes of her possessions from her apartment that I just can\'t bring myself to unpack. Again this fills me with guilt, but I am just so scared...I can only hope that when I am ready I will do it.
It\'s been a year & 3/4 for me, Lisa. I can go neither go into Charlie\'s (closed door) room nor to the cemetery. Most of the time I\'m doing good to face the daily challenges of life in general. Oh, & I can\'t cook his favorite dishes at all...
It is all so individual this grief journey for us. I find peace at the cemetery and I go often. Marissa\'s room is now the office where I sit with the computer and Jennifer\'s room will be a den hopefully soon. Working on it, little by little. It is so hard to change things since they have gone. Yet as Jennifer\'s five year angel day comes I want her see us still BEing. As everyone says it is only one day or minute at a time. Peace, Kathy
awe thank you, everyone, for sharing your experiences........ it means so much.