alone...
it's only been days since we solidified out break up...after months of feeling disconnected and unsure I finally made it clear that I need to focus on me... my heart is heavy with grief and I've got to commit to healing... I have a knowingness that this is right... I just feel awful. breaking up sucks. Now I'm struggling with the "rules"...do you have to go no contact even if it's amicable? ugh... just scary to think about what this means for my future...
Replies
(((((((((((clear)))))))))))) I\'m sorry for your pain. It does suck big time I remember those days, weeks and months. I know it doesn\'t help right now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will get better. A day will come when you will wake up and realize you hadn\'t thought about him at all the day before. Those days will start to multiply.
Until then, take really good care of yourself. Accept, express & honor your feelings. Unfortunately, the only way past the pain is thru it.
~healing hugs~
Clearskye, so sorry feel awful. Just know that we are here to support you. No contact is right now the best thing for you to be honest and disciplined to yourself. Part of you wants to desperately contact him or reply to his messages. But by answering or contacting him you would be sending wrong signals: wrong signals to him who has a ray of hope of having you back and wrong signals to yourself, namely to that part of your emotions that absolutely wanted to focus on you! Maybe try and look at it from a different perspective: count the many days you broke up since and consider that you are this many days into healing. Why are you scared about your future? You are much stronger now than before! What if your (meantime ex) boyfriend had enough of the situation and abandoned YOU in a couple of months from now? Or what if you had become so fed up that you would end up hurting each other? I feel awful some days, too, but I have been blessed with so many other things because I started concentrating on my own life. You should be really proud of yourself and not scared. This was such a brave step. And he should not consider himself being abandoned. You did it also out of respect.
also ~ healing hugs ~
Congratulations for following your gut! Hold on to that \"right\"ness and let that push you thru. Yes, i\'d say NC even though \"amicable\" - perhaps even more so. It may be too easy to fall back into a routine with him.
You can do it!