7 Months
I actually do not know what to say. 7 months today and as with every month anniversary, I tend to re-live "that day". I still tear up but it has been a few weeks since I actually cried. Getting use to the fact Ron is not coming back. Today I finished with the estate. Everything is finished except the final tax return for Ron. But it can wait until next spring when mine is due and will do them together for the last time. I am slowly, very slowly finding a home for his stuff. Not ready to clear out the clothes but I do see the day coming. I still wear my ring and cannot imagine not wearing it! Everyone tells me to be kind to myself so I have booked a trip with my brother to Hawaii next month. I have never been there. Today I am indifferent about the trip. If it was cancelled for whatever reason, I really don't think I would be all upset. But in another way, who doesn't want to see Hawaii?!?! I think back over the pass 7 months and I cannot believe all that has happened and the biggest shock: I survived!! The one most important lesson I have had to learn is: accept what you cannot change. So I move forward I guess. I still can be in shock. I still cannot believe he is gone. But we do not get to live yesterday. Only today. And look to tomorrow. hope this journal does not sound depressing. I am not depressed. Just missing my soulmate. Love, Diane
Replies
Diane,
You are moving through the process and I think you are doing very well reading your comments. We all move at different paces but I am to the stage where I remember Sally fondly and all the good and difficult time we faced together. I now am able to see the health events that led up to her passing and know I gave her the best life I could. I\'m blessed that she entered my life and now that she has passed I see the lessons she taught me and still continues to do so. Life is for the living and I am following her wishes and getting back on the bus so to speak. Life is great and I am extremely thankful for the blessings I have in my life now. My thoughts are with you and I wish you much peace and joy in the coming days. I know that Ron would want you to live your life to honor him as I currently do for Sally. Peace to you Diane!
Dewey
Diane! Good for you to book a fun trip. I went on several trips since Bob died. I went to see my sister for two weeks, as soon as the memorial service was over! Then a few months later I went on a road trip with my sister to Florida to see my folks. A few months later, I flew my sister here to St. Louis and we had a fun week together!! I still grieved but I was able to learn to laugh too, in spite of my grief. Bob was my whole world! But he lives in another world for the moment!! I\'ll join him some day!! But for now, I have to live here without him. So I am choosing to live!! It\'s ok to enjoy life!
Diane-you sound like you are in a very healthy place. I am happy you are planning a trip to Hawaii. We all deserve some beauty in our life! It is funny how we process things and move forward at different paces. I had no trouble clearing out Larry\'s clothes. Most of it. I still keep his yard jacket and his Tilley hat at the back door, I am not sure when i will part with those.I am happy you are moving forward. Hugs Patti
You are on the right path and it\'s certainly alright to miss him. I still miss my Don and yet I have built a life that brings me happiness. How can I not miss my high school sweetheart and the man I fell in love with when I was 16? The secret is to hold them dear to your heart forever while you find the new self to live on. Sharon