Well I made it through the holidays and my birthday. I think my birthday was the worst of them. I was home in Pennsylvania for Christmas so I had my family around me and I could walk across the road and visit with BJ whenever I wanted too. My birthday was another story. I was back in Michigan and no family around me. My birthday was Saturday so at least the boyfriend was home with me. We did go out and do a bit of shopping and out too eat but it was still strange for the phone not to ring with BJ on the other end to tell me Happy Birthday. I know he was with me in spirit tho and that does help. As a matter of fact I know he was here in the past week. I keep two small fleece blankets at the end of the bed for the cats to sleep on. I washed them just a week ago and put them back on the bed. The other day one of the cats got sick on one of them so I threw them in the washer. When I put them back the green one had a feather stuck in it. I knew right then that BJ had been here pulling one of his stunts. We've been laughing about that boy and his feathers for a long time. When he was living at my mom's he had a feather pillow that was always leaking feathers. After he died my mom put the pillow out of the porch and she cleaned up all the feathers with the vacuum. Well needless to say we keep finding feathers in the strangest places sometimes. I find them here too and I have nothing that has feathers in it and some of the clothes I've found feathers in I have never taken with me on my trips to Pennsylvania. I guess its just his little way of keeping in touch.  I miss that boy so much. I know I should write on here more often but I can't seem to find the words and sometimes it just seems like too much work to sit down and type. I will try to do better tho. It's been hard lately and some days all I want to do is sit in the corner and cry. I don't do that tho. I know BJ would not want me to be so upset. I try to keep going on like I know he would want me to.