ugh..

I was having a good night. Last couple of nights have been decent! Until I received a message on Facebook.. my ex made a fake account and was pretending to be someone else to talk to me and to convince me to talk to him again.. thankfully he really bad at it.. But, while he didn't really say anything bad.. He just wanted to brag about his girlfriend and convince me to talk to him again cause he missed me! (He missed me and wanted to be close again before he mentioned his girlfriend then he made it seem less like he cared :P ) When I realized it was him I got all shake and it got harder to breathe... I felt like the same girl I was last time... Alone, broken, hurt, secluded,  lied to, worthless,  helpless... It all came rushing back so fast.. my brain was flooded with every cruel thing he said, the friends that believed I was a terrible person for not speaking to him... it was all so overwhelming... I told him that he doesn't need to know anything about me and I don't want to know anything about him and that I didn't want to speak to him. I also wished him the best of luck, said I'm glad he's doing well and goodbye. And when he kept messaging I blocked him. Tried keeping as short and civil as I could, with as minimal drama as possible... I just worry that it won't be the last I hear from him.. why can't he go bug his girlfriend and leave me alone..? Bleh, whatever..  And the guy I'm so into, well, he kinda has me frustrated, he's being shitty with me and ignoring me because my xbox fucked up.... o.O like wtf? Of all the reason to be mad at me... And I needed him... I really really fucking needed him.... But because of an electronic malfunction that happened earlier in the night, I got the silent treatment and a short obviously upset message... I'm so done right now.. I don't think they make enough medications to fix the way I feel right now... I just want to curl up and disappear,  if i knew my family wouldn't need me to get up before at least 8 hrs I'd taking a sleeping pill so I could get a little sleep without all of the stuff on my mind keeping me up... Bleh... Anyways... I've written enough for now... I'm going to attempt to get a little sleep...