Just another day..

Well.. I spent most of yesterday crying and panicking. But.. I did go online to the crisis chat. It helped a little bit I guess. Still didn't help much... I got to vent about a couple things I can't really vent to anyone else about.. But, it didn't really help.. Think it just made me feel a lil more lost and alone.. But, I'm doing a lil bit better, still feel like crying sometimes.. But mostly I just feel really drained.. A lil more on the apathetic side.. Didn't eat yesterday, in fact, after going on the crisis chat I went to bed, and refused to get out of bed the rest of the day and night.. Ate a few hours ago then came right back to bed.. Don't want to leave my room.. Just want to go back to sleep.. At least when I'm asleep I don't have to feel like this.
But, I haven't tried to hurt myself. Which is supposed to be a good thing, right? 
Just wish I could get myself to not feel soo bad.. Wish I could stop looking in the mirror and hating myself.. Wish I could stop feeling jealous or comparing myself to all of these girls that are sooooo much prettier than me.. That is one of y biggest faults.. I think so little of myself, so when I find someone better than me, I instantly feel like everyone would be better off with them.. And it becomes almost an obsession.. Because, I just want the best for people.. I want everyone I care about to be happy.. And I always feel like someone else would be able to make them so much happier than I ever could. So I shut down.. Push people away, push them to find that better person.. Because.. I know they deserve so much better than me... And I try not to think that way.. But I cant help it... I just want everyone to have everything they deserve.. And I feel like that isn't me.. I wish I felt good enough for people.. 
Ready to feel better.. I don't know if I can keep going through this day after day..