God, please give me strength to get through all of this..
I'm not doing too well.. I wish I could talk to someone about everything going on in my head right now.. I mean, it's not that I can't.. I have people I could talk to... But... I just can't... I doubt even know how I'd really even put it into words.. And I probably wouldn't be able to tell anyone anyways.. I feel so weak... I just want to lay in bed until it's dark out.. Then get in my truck and drive as far away as I can into an open field, and just lay in the bed of my truck and stare at the stars... Stay out there til sunrise.. Just Disappear for a night.. Maybe take my dogs.. Hell I'd be cool with doing that for a few days.. I need to do something.  Even if I just took my dog Auto and went for a walk for a while.. Go to the dam. Walk the 3 miles or whatever it is. Just need some fresh air and time to think. Would like to take him and walk across the dam, stop at the park and read for a bit, walk back and then come home. Maybe I can work it out.. We'll see.. Juss need something to clear my head.. Cause I'm falling apart and I can't keep doing this... Need change...