I feel like I have no control of my emotions anymore.. I'm a ticking time bomb.. Waiting to explode.. I'm so scared that I won't be able to stay strong... Only because I don't want to hurt anyone... I'm trying so hard to just be strong.. Smile, laugh, joke, pretend I'm okay.. But I'm not doing a very good job... I keep thinking about everything too much.. I think about the guy I've had hell letting go of.. The jackass ex.. The 14yr old girl he'd screwed around with and lied to me repeatedly about it.. The friends I've lost and pushed away... The future I want, but i'm so scared I won't ever have.. The person I like... The kind of person I am.. I feel like a really crappy person.. I'm selfish.. I'm bitchy.. I complain a lot.. I hurt the ones I love.. I lose my temper too easily.. I care too much about things I probably shouldn't.. I'm lazy.. I'm not too smart.. I feel like there is very little about me that is even the slightest bit decent..  Hopefully this feeling will go away soon.. So ready to feel better...  ) :