Well, I'm not feeling terrible.. Still a little off but, could be worse. 
Although.. Today, or yesterday I guess.. I felt so.. disgusting... I could barely look in the mirror.. I felt fat, ugly, disgusting... I' think about how much weight I want to lose.. And how difficult it is to get motivated.. How I just don't have it in me to do anything...  It feels impossible... I can't stand my body.. Anything about myself really... My shitty personality, my fat, disgusting appearance.. It's hard for me to find much good about myself.. I like my current hair color.. But my hair itself bugs me.. I like my eye color, but not my eyes.  Everytime I get dressed, or go shoppping, or look in the mirror... See pictures of myself.. I find 1,000,000,000 reasons to hate myself... So many reason why others wouldn't like me..  And while, I don't really care what others think... Some people I do... And all I can think about is my many flaws.. Food was always what comforted me.. Which is partly why I'm in this situation.. Now.. It's become more of an enemy.. Caught between my love of food, and how much i hate myself.. I don't even want to eat anymore.. I consider just not eating constantly... "If I just don't eat, it'll be so much better.." It constantly replays in my head... Some days it wins... Others I force myself so no one asks me why I'm not eating.. Or to make others happy.. But in all honesty.. I'd be fine with just not eating anything.. Stop eating, start working out. Maybe take some weightloss pills.. Maybe then I could find a way to be happy with myself..  I'm so tired of feeling like a disgusting, worthless, lazy, fucked up piece of crap.... But I do.. I feel like the world would be better off without me...  All I am good at is screwing up...