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It is about to be my birthday... On the 17th.... I always said by the age of, or when I turned 18 I'd kill myself... I can't get these thoughts out of my head... I feel so empty and broken... Just don't want to feel this way.. So much drama with my ex and questioning my current relationship, family drama... It's all becoming too much... I just want to disappear temporarily.... or even permanently.. Don't wanna be here.. Don't want to be alive anymore.... What's the point? Not like it would make much of a difference.. people would move on, and I would hope they would.... I know nothing lasts forever.... But, I don't know if I can handle much more.. My mind is literally killing me... I'm just so tired of it all.... Tired of feeling so broken...
Replies
Please tell me your still alive, I only found this site today. I know how it feels to feel broken. I think I have Tourettes, never been formally diagnosed but it\'s the only thing that seems to fit for all the things I do, I hate the tics so much, trying to hold them in borders on pain. Plus I\'ve been through two bouts of depression once in college and a second time when I was stationed in Korea. First time was worse than the second, first time I was constantly thinking of suicide, maybe flipping my truck on the highway or some other way but I didn\'t want other people to have to worry about dealing with my body so I starting thinking of ways that I could just go out into a field in the middle of nowhere, construct some device that would just bury me after a certain amount of time after I\'d over dosed myself on meds. But I managed through because of the small happy things, but also because I remembered that I still had family that loved me and how sad they would be if I disappeared, they would end up blaming themselves if I committed suicide and I couldn\'t allow that. So please tell me you\'re still alive