I went to the doctor yesterday, she seemed nice and really listened to me. She though that the bloating maybe caused by swelling of my female organs, so she ordered an ultrasound. She thought they might have been able to fit me in yesterday, but I had to be home for my kids so they are supposed to call me with an appointment. Hoping for sooner rather then later. Of course my mind goes to the worst couple of scenarios, that it is ovarian, colon, always some sort of cancer. I am having a hard time functioning, my energy levels are ok, other then being tired, but I am doing the bare minimum. I just don't feel like it or it all feels pointless. Having a hard time concentrating on things half the time my mind is cycling on possible horrible outcomes to my various aches and pains. At times I feel frozen in my fear, I hate it.
I am supposed to go out of town for a few days, I want to enjoy myself not be worrying all the time. I was tempted to ask about anxiety meds but I was a afraid I would no longer be taken seriously and everything would be attributed to anxiety. I just want to feel better, I don't want the worry or the aches and pains. I am trying to trust in God in all things and follow his will, I am not doing very well with either one but I am trying. I may write more later if I need to.