Day 12

Today was fine. I'm a little disappointed because I couldn't do everything I had planned but I didn't waste that much time so I guess that makes me feel better. 
From time to time sex thoughts come to my mind, it bothers me that some of them involve F. I don't trust myself at all, I'm still an addict to porn and masturbation. I know that if things get hot between F and I, then it will be very hard for me to control my libido. I have to be careful, I don't want to mess up.
I also kept wondering about other girls I've met. Beauty is still an issue in my head. And just thinking of all this makes me have an erection. I'm aware that I still have a long way to go. I hope that it is not too late for me. I'm scared of the effects being irreversible. 
Today I did not masturbate. Thank God.