Day 11

Today I wasted so much time. My brother keeps teasing me about how I always fail when I try some discipline in my life. It's true, I'm a mess but I can't give up. Step bu step I have to find a way to become the man I want to be. 
I decided to give F a chance. I can't be close minded, I'll do my best and really enjoy this relationship,if I fall in love, then it's ok. Time will tell. She is great, really.
I'm still in pain because of all the kissing, I guess, I also hope so. I hate that just thinking of her makes me have an erection. Also I'm worried that despite not being sure about my feelings, a part of me was hoping to get more than just kisses from her the other day. I didn't think of it before but I know I wanted that. I hope everything turns out fine. 
I am a rhino!!!!!!!! I have to charge like a rihno. I cant forget this
The desire is still inside of me, I have to be strong
Today I did not masturbate