Day 8

Today was fine mostly. I still have issues with pretty girls. Today, a pretty friend talked to me and for a minute I didn't know what to say. She probably noticed it was because of her looks. I wish so badly I could be healthy again. Looks are nothing, I have to get that in my head. I want to be like Sherlock Holmes, analyze and act then. 
Anyway, I also thought about C but I managed to avoid those thoughts. 
Then F began writing all this stuff about fate and love. It felt too much, I don't know if I'm overreacting but it really felt too much. So I told her that it is better to let time do the talking and that it is not a good idea to get that far ahead yet. She didn't say good bye, she sent a picture and that was it. I hope she is not mad at me. I think that she is not mad but who knows. I'm scared again, she really likes me, I don't want to ruin her first love experience. I wonder if I'll get to like her as much as she likes me. I was hoping to kiss her again, I don't know if it is because of hormones or actual feelings. Porn really fucked me up, I hate that.
I can feel the urge growing quietly. I have to be careful.
I didn't masturbate today.