Day 4

Today I was thrilled about going to the movies with F. I really like her but sometimes I don't feel attracted to her. I hate how my head works, I'm obsessed with beauty. I always focus on physical beauty, when I watch tv, when I'm outside, when I read a book, even when I watch porn. I think too much about pretty girls and that is a problem because I miss the real magic. F is pretty but not that pretty, still I'm not missing the chance of going out with her. She is great and I don't want to miss that. However, physical beauty is still there, inside my brain. Beauty can be deceitful and it leads me to porn sometimes. Like when I start thinking about pretty girls too much, I feel like finding on internet pictures, that leads to nude pictures and that leads to porn. Therefore, a golden rule is
- DO NOT THINK OF BEAUTY TOO MUCH.
I have to remember this.
Today I did not masturbate. Thank God