Scared

My biggest fear right now is that he will turn out to be another bad guy. He is so good to me...I've literally never had this before, except with my ex, who was good to me up until I became his girlfriend...then he treated me so badly. He even yelled at me in the middle of a store once...and I didn't do anything wrong! He asked me to buy him something, and before I could say ok, he started yelling at me, saying how I "better" get it after all the things he's gotten me...he was so mean to me...and I put up with it. I tried to be a good girlfriend. I did EVERYTHING I could to be what he wanted...and it was never good enough. For years, he made me feel ugly, worthless, a failure...not good enough...and I struggle to be a good woman to this day. Men have broken me down so, that sometimes it takes so much effort to stand tall with my head up...people have broken me down so that it takes so much effort to not give up. All I wanted was to love and be good to someone...to be loved by someone who found me beautiful no matter what...I finally seem to have that now...everything I've prayed for, he seems to be - except he's not Christian. But everything else, he is...I want this to be good. I want this to be right - to be God-sent...but after everything I've been through, somewhere in my mind, I still question "what if he hurts me?" What if he's abusive? A liar? A cheater? A criminal? etc. What if he's someone I should have never met, but fell in love with because he was coincidentally mostly everything I prayed for? I trust him, and I love him. But I'm so scared of the possibility that he may hurt me...and I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to leave.