The rational thing to do would to not care at all. To just not love. If a guy wants to date, ok. It's not for love that we'd be together. I can feel good, and he can too. The only thing is, how do I find someone ok with being together with no strings attached? And how do I make him be honest and truthful? Or should I care? Maybe I should just talk to whoever wants to talk, and let whatever may be, be. No chances, no strings, no opening up my heart. And if by some crazy chance, I do turn out to be preggo, maybe I should give it up for adoption? Or maybe I should give her/him what she/he needs and live practically......and if I have homeboys around, then she/he'd have a father figure. Or maybe someone from my fam can step up and be a father figure.....or maybe my ex will be a good father....I just don't want to have to see the bastard. I don't want him in my life anymore. It's already hard enough to move on and let what happened stay in the past....and I fail at not talking to him....but he threw me away so easily. Whatever. I guess I'll just either live practically and not fall for the whole "love" lie...or I will just keep my guard way up as I move on from now on. When I was with him, I guarded myself, saying "you never know what will happen in the future"...I was scared to let my guard down and trust him, but I did, and I got hurt. So this time, I wont let my guard down. Idk if I'll even let it down after I'm married. Idk....but I'm hurting.