I'm happy...but I do feel like I am missing something........when will I fall in love? Not just fall in love, but fall for someone that truly loves me and will never leave me, hurt me, betray me, or do anything wrong against me. When will I have a group of friends that I am so close to that we talk on the phone from time to time, we hang out sometimes, and I can talk to them whenever I need to. When will I have a social life...not just one during school, but one that will carry over even during the holidays and breaks.....one that will last even after graduation...
I am very content now. I am working on finding my best self. I am even losing some weight (and I hope it will stop going slowly and start to fall off me)...I'm doing well in school, and am getting better on my instruments. But there are a few things I feel I really need, that I don't have. friends and my weight (and my over-all health) are things that seem close to me achieving. But love......I'm not even dating now. I'm at a point that if I were to be asked out by someone suitable, I would be nervous, but would accept......however, no one I find suitable has approached me yet...actually...no body at all has approached me. I heard a comment a guy made to another, saying that I was attractive. He didn't know I heard him.......I have seen at least 2 guys looking at me as if they were interested........I am not ugly (I've been told), I am kind, I'm Christian (I even go to a Christian school), and I try to be approachable....so why do guys not come near me? When I was skinny....more guys approached me, but even then, guys were intimidated by me (for whatever reasons). What is it about me that keeps guys at bay? Is it God? But even so, what about the Christian men? What about guys that have talked to me, and see that I'm friendly? Why are they also still hesitant? Am I not as friendly seeming as I think I am?
I have so many questions. I want to be my best. I want friends. I want to be healthy, and fit. I want to be in love. These are things that are good for me...so why are they so hard to attain? Why does it take so much effort and time to grasp these things, when they are basic rights for me to have as a human being? I'm confused, but I will never give up.
I'm happy and hard at work. I refuse to to give up. I am determined to achieve these goals.....I am determined to take back and to attain all that is rightfully mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I am very content now. I am working on finding my best self. I am even losing some weight (and I hope it will stop going slowly and start to fall off me)...I'm doing well in school, and am getting better on my instruments. But there are a few things I feel I really need, that I don't have. friends and my weight (and my over-all health) are things that seem close to me achieving. But love......I'm not even dating now. I'm at a point that if I were to be asked out by someone suitable, I would be nervous, but would accept......however, no one I find suitable has approached me yet...actually...no body at all has approached me. I heard a comment a guy made to another, saying that I was attractive. He didn't know I heard him.......I have seen at least 2 guys looking at me as if they were interested........I am not ugly (I've been told), I am kind, I'm Christian (I even go to a Christian school), and I try to be approachable....so why do guys not come near me? When I was skinny....more guys approached me, but even then, guys were intimidated by me (for whatever reasons). What is it about me that keeps guys at bay? Is it God? But even so, what about the Christian men? What about guys that have talked to me, and see that I'm friendly? Why are they also still hesitant? Am I not as friendly seeming as I think I am?
I have so many questions. I want to be my best. I want friends. I want to be healthy, and fit. I want to be in love. These are things that are good for me...so why are they so hard to attain? Why does it take so much effort and time to grasp these things, when they are basic rights for me to have as a human being? I'm confused, but I will never give up.
I'm happy and hard at work. I refuse to to give up. I am determined to achieve these goals.....I am determined to take back and to attain all that is rightfully mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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