well, here i am again, another crappy day in my world. went and filled out my first application since i got fired. it was so hard. havnt filled one of these out in over 15 years and you can tell. i dont know why i cant ever just get a break. wenever things start going ok for me, then i know something realy bad is getting ready to happen. and it allways does. i cant even afford to go to my doctor and i dont know how i will get my meds. i am realy freaking out here. i am so fat now that i had nothing to were to look for a job. i dont even know how i will pay my rent. oh well, another day in paridice for me. going to try to join some moore groups now. going to try to find someone to talk to. wish me luck. by for now.