Listen to these three songs in this order. Listen to them from the viewpoint of how sexual abuse hase impaceted our lives. Then tell me if, at the end, you are not sobbing. I dont know. These songs just REALLY impacted me. They are not all new, but it was the first time that i heard them all back to back. They are:
I'm not Jesus by Apocolipta
Hate Me by Blue October
Uprising by Muse (mainly the chorus)
These songs are helping me to feel again. For a while now I have closed up and withdrawn into myself almost completly. I heard these songs and cried for the first time in like 4 months. I had also made the dicesion to take myself off of paxil. I took myself off of it slowly so i did not get bad reactions. I have done this on my own, and basicly ditched the psyciatrist(for more than one reason). My therapist took this news suprisingly well. I explained that i just felt numb all of the time, and that my wife started to believe that i did not care about her anymore. I could not live like that anymore. I could not let our marrage dissolve just because i did not want to feel depressed anymore. I do not feel wonderfull now.... BUT I FEEL!!! My wife and i started to have an argument last night... and i got mad. She stopped the argument because she was happy to see that i got angry about something. That i acted like i cared about something. I had not told her about my decision to stop taking the medication untill last night. I explained that could not stand to let her go on thinking that i dont care. I could not stand to be numb. We had a very long talk after. A REAL talk. Nothing has been majicaly fixed, but at least she now knows that i care, and thats a start.
How on earth did i start taking off on a tangent. I had originally started this journal off talking about the songs that were the catylist to me want to care again.
If anyone reads this... what songs do you listen to that;
gives you hope
lets you cry
fills you with that kind of depression that for some reason seems sooo desirable.
or just fills you with some kind of powerfull emotion that i have not mentioned.
I would love to look up these other songs and listen to them.
Just to let you know, the lets you cry section for me was, Hate Me, and I'm Not Jesus.
Gives you hope was Uprising
Under the, "fills you with that kind of depression that for some reason seems sooo desirable" catigory.... my first choice would be, One of My Turns, by Pink Floyd on The Wall album.
I'm not Jesus by Apocolipta
Hate Me by Blue October
Uprising by Muse (mainly the chorus)
These songs are helping me to feel again. For a while now I have closed up and withdrawn into myself almost completly. I heard these songs and cried for the first time in like 4 months. I had also made the dicesion to take myself off of paxil. I took myself off of it slowly so i did not get bad reactions. I have done this on my own, and basicly ditched the psyciatrist(for more than one reason). My therapist took this news suprisingly well. I explained that i just felt numb all of the time, and that my wife started to believe that i did not care about her anymore. I could not live like that anymore. I could not let our marrage dissolve just because i did not want to feel depressed anymore. I do not feel wonderfull now.... BUT I FEEL!!! My wife and i started to have an argument last night... and i got mad. She stopped the argument because she was happy to see that i got angry about something. That i acted like i cared about something. I had not told her about my decision to stop taking the medication untill last night. I explained that could not stand to let her go on thinking that i dont care. I could not stand to be numb. We had a very long talk after. A REAL talk. Nothing has been majicaly fixed, but at least she now knows that i care, and thats a start.
How on earth did i start taking off on a tangent. I had originally started this journal off talking about the songs that were the catylist to me want to care again.
If anyone reads this... what songs do you listen to that;
gives you hope
lets you cry
fills you with that kind of depression that for some reason seems sooo desirable.
or just fills you with some kind of powerfull emotion that i have not mentioned.
I would love to look up these other songs and listen to them.
Just to let you know, the lets you cry section for me was, Hate Me, and I'm Not Jesus.
Gives you hope was Uprising
Under the, "fills you with that kind of depression that for some reason seems sooo desirable" catigory.... my first choice would be, One of My Turns, by Pink Floyd on The Wall album.
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