I did`nt go to the party lastnight. I stayed home and played roulette, watched a really crappy copy of the new HULK movie (which really ROCKED by the way), and tried somthing really different.  I was starting to get that lonely feeling again, and the depression started creeping up, so I went outside and took a look at the night sky. The stars were out, although it was a little cloudy, overall the night breeze and the beautiful stars enchanted me and really changed my mood. I went into the storage shed and got my tent out! I pitched it in the back yard and went camping! LOL  I felt like a kid again! It brought back fond memories. Every day for 2 summers camping in the yard with my cousins, only coming in to use the restroom/shower and eat.  But it also brought back memories of running away from a drug addicted ex and living on the beach for almost a month! LOL But that was`nt even that bad, it was actually kind of fun, because i actually find camping very exciting and out of the ordinary day to day bore. I know it sounds strange that a grown man can like a kid and camp out in the back yard, but I dont care, it was alot of fun and I woke up feeling like a champ!  Now tonight is another story. Im noticing that the nights are getting increasing lonlier. I really miss holding someone and having someone to take care of.  But oh well, it`s the story of my life, and things will get better. It always does. But it`s the in between times that kill me. Im going to write some music now.