update

Came to a tentative agreement but not without alot of anger and tears from wify.  Aparently she only wanted to give me half her ira for my half of the house.  After going back and forth over a couple of hours I ended up with all of her ira plus so much per month for 3 years. She still got the  better part of the deal but still thinks I came out way ahead and was extremely embarrassed when I told lawyer about bf. So now she wants to commit suicide.  I am sure lawyer informed her that I can prove adultry and really clean her out if I wanted too but I won't. but what we agreed on is something I can live with, plus it will be over with and I can move on with my life and do things the way I want to do them and not have to worry about her holding me back.
I have potential and I plan on using it to the best of my ability.
She lied to her lawyer about alot of things but I would have to prove she was lying before a judge if I wanted to drag it all out that long.  I just wanted to put it behind me so I can concentrate on myself and on my future.
Thanks and hugs to all for your support.