update

Came to a tentative agreement but not without alot of anger and tears from wify.  Aparently she only wanted to give me half her ira for my half of the house.  After going back and forth over a couple of hours I ended up with all of her ira plus so much per month for 3 years. She still got the  better part of the deal but still thinks I came out way ahead and was extremely embarrassed when I told lawyer about bf. So now she wants to commit suicide.  I am sure lawyer informed her that I can prove adultry and really clean her out if I wanted too but I won't. but what we agreed on is something I can live with, plus it will be over with and I can move on with my life and do things the way I want to do them and not have to worry about her holding me back.
I have potential and I plan on using it to the best of my ability.
She lied to her lawyer about alot of things but I would have to prove she was lying before a judge if I wanted to drag it all out that long.  I just wanted to put it behind me so I can concentrate on myself and on my future.
Thanks and hugs to all for your support.  

Replies

KRKing911
KRKing911

If you take that ira as a lump sum, you do know that there\'s tax liability and penalties right? Please be careful.
deleted_user
deleted_user

HUGS ...you sound so positive about moving on and ready to make your dreams come true. Always here to support your journey. Your a good man and a good friend. Xo Angel..... Best wishes Bob!
des10ed2b
des10ed2b

good for you! big hugs from me, things are going to be so much better soon!
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine

I know that KR so am thinking about a cheap rent for awhile, Thanks
Spagirl thanks, I can\'t help but be optimaistic. I have been in a cage for the last 25 years, not of my doing though.
Thankyou Des, when I look at it, my wife is the one with the problems. Even after the divorce is over and I am long gone, she will have to live with her decisions, not me. hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thinking of you Bob. I know this is super hard and emotionally draining. Just keep your head up okay?
Kahlua13
Kahlua13

I hope this is all over for you soon!
JoyceMarilyn
JoyceMarilyn

As you said you could get more with proof but at what cost? I fully understand you wanting it to be over with and done!
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine

Thankyou trying, I am as best as I can, thanks Kahlua, I hope so too. Lawyer said early august.
Thankyou Joyce, ultimately I just want peace of mind.
deleted_user
deleted_user

OK looks good Bob, keep going.
CowgirlKathi
CowgirlKathi

I\'m not sure I would go with this deal, but you know your finances better than anyone. As to the tax liability, your wife is going to have to bear the brunt of the withdrawal penalty -- just make sure you don\'t have to eat part of it. Think long and hard about all of this; just because the finances may get settled soon doesn\'t make your feelings all better. I say take it slow and give yourself time to really think if this is a fair deal or not.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine

Thanks Elizeena, cowgirl, what you said rang a bell in my head. if I cash in the ira this year, it will go on our joint return for this year! Oh my! TY
MsTerey
MsTerey

No.. you do not have to pay taxes on a IRA transfer in a divorce, but you have to put in a new one of your own, and you can not spend it either. You can, but then the early withdraw on it will be subject to the penalty. This is a tenative agreement you stated, and I wonder, what happened to the house, or is that the amount that she will be paying you for the house? Or are you getting alimony. Talk to your attorney. You have a ways to go before you are divorced. Best to you.
Lori63
Lori63

Thinking of you. It\'s amazing that after lying to us they continue to lie to their atty, the judge etc. But like you said proving it is another thing.
Good luck with everything
NoraMc
NoraMc

Bob...you have such advice here,,please listen to your friends,,,they seem to know what they are talking about....I have no advice,,,but I have
((((((hugs))))))
SilentAddict
SilentAddict

Happy to see you doing not what you want but what is right :)
You are letting go and moving forward :)
So bproud of oyu Bob :)
-Dia