6 Week Scan

So another huge meltdown definitely occurred the night before my 6 week scan- I sobbed uncontrollably and felt like I was one phone call away from the looney bin. I still was not feeling any symptoms besides being more tired than normal, and had convinced myself it was because they were going to find an empty sack or something- I just cannot even handle the fact that your body can trick you into thinking you are pregnant when you are not. I cried half of the night and finally passed out bc I was so exhausted. My regular Dr was out of town so another was filling in for her which made me kind of uneasy. At this point I have been with my Dr for awhile and she knows how handle me and I know how to read her. This new Dr started the u/s and wasn't saying much as she was looking at the screen. This obviously freaked me out and I continued to stare at the screen, not sure of what the hell I was even looking at. She finally started talking and pointing out the yolk sac and the fetal pole and said that the measurements looked good. She got quiet again so I immediately thought there must be something wrong with the heartbeat, but she says, " I think there are 2..." It's a good thing I was laying down, otherwise I may have passed out. My partner and I just stared at each other in disbelief. My betas gave no indication of twins and that was the furthest from our minds- we just felt extremely lucky that one of our last two embryos had even made it this far. I made the Dr stop the u/s and start again to make sure she was seeing it correctly. She was finally able to get both sacs in the same screen and sure enough there were 2 in there, side by side, both with the smallest heartbeats- I actually never even saw the heartbeats bc my head was spinning with this new information, but she said she did, so I believe her. It is so hard not to get too excited. I know it is still so super early, but how can I not let my imagination run away with me about what our life is going to look like??? I want to keep the both of them safe so badly and I hope that my body allows me to do that. Even though it is early, I told my immediate family, but I told them that no one is allowed to be excited yet and that they needed to know in the event that something bad happens and I need help. I absolutely hate that this is what IF has done to me- no cute, creative pregnancy announcements for me bc I am too terrified of what will go wrong. For now I am taking it day by day, and just praying that it doesn't end. I can't even remember the last time I went to the bathroom and didn't take a deep breath before looking down to make sure there was no blood. My RE office doesn't normally do another scan until 8 weeks, but I weasled my way in for a 7 week scan citing the new information of twins as the reason:) So for now the waiting and worrying continues and I have 2 babies that I am trying to grow for the next 34 or so weeks- it is so amazing to say and I just pray that it lasts.