6 Months Today
It's 6 months today and it feels like an eternity, I know you are in heaven where there is no pain and no worries I only wish I could share that as well. God has his own plans I got very sad today and just kind of wandered, of course I re-live the why did this happen question that is the first thing that comes to mind. Going over the frustration of the illness the false hopes that we were given the whole time saying you would do well and after 3 chemo treatments you were gone. All this starts to ramble through my mind every time. How I miss my Luis I don't believe that I will fully accept it but I will just have to learn to live my life differently with God fully in charge. I hate the word widow it's like an ugly label that people are never comfortable with. I feel so awkward being around couples don't really know how to act when will all this be normal for me. I am grateful for our kids they are the best always helping out. I pray that we can all have some peaceful thoughts and some joy in all our lives. I don't know if I will have the motivation to decorate for Christmas can't even think about that without you being here. Hugs to all of you on DS.
Lisa
Lisa
Replies
Lisa - I know how you feel and I understand. I lost Mark on May 4, so I\'m almost at 6 months and in some ways it feels like yesterday and in others, like an eternity. It feels like my life is a roller coaster - somethings make me smile with wonderful memories and then others make me so sad because I know that we\'ll never make new memories.
I try to focus on our wonderful life together - and it was completely wonderful. I focus on the unconditional love that I felt with Mark - I focus on the person that I\'ve become because of his influence in my life. I focus on the tiny light that I see emerging at the end of this tunnel. I try to focus on the day when I will smile and laugh more than cry. We will always have a hole in our heart - we will always miss and love our wonderful husbands. But we can live a life to honor them - we can live a life for them - and they will always be with us.
Hugs to you Lisa - and I wish you sunshine for your tomorrow,
Chris