6 months post breakup and still feel like shit
How pathetic is that? Weekends are still just horrible. Went to the dog beach with my daughter last evening.. Jesus driving by all the restaurants and bars by the water with the outdoor dining on a beautiful Friday evening, all the couples out celebrating Friday, all those places we used to go to. I just got more and more depressed the closer we got to the dog park. This going through the motions just to get out of the house doesn't seem to be working for me anymore. I've given up booze but had a few last night just to numb my thinking and eventually help me sleep I just didn't fcking care anymore. Now I have a bit of a hangover but I felt like shit anyways so big deal. I think this funk stems from the fact I learned she is seeing someone 2 weeks ago, even though the split is 6 months old. I read this morning the average time to move on is 18 months lol. No FKING way I'm gonna make that. Feeling like this for another year? What's the point???
Replies
Coope I am sorry you are feeling bad today. Weekends do suck. But it does take a while to completely feel better. Have you ever thought of online dating. there are people on there that are separated also and are just looking for people they have things in common with to just hang out with. You are a great guy I am sure you would get a lot of responses. I know it is not a fix to your pain. But it will give you a avenue to meet people without any pressure. Hell for all we know your ex met her new friend online also.
My ex is seeing someone else as well so I understand :(
Look at these stories and see what you think. You can use the drop down and see different categories from long distance, in relationship and so on.
http://success.match.com/success/story.aspx?ownerid=27192&origin=1
Hang in there and keep posting we are here for you (( hugs ))
No she\'s with my daughters boyfriends dad. How\'s that one?
I\'m not ready to date anyone in my state of mind I\'m not sure if I want to leave the house to get milk.
Gotta get out of this stupid mindset I think it\'s the being alone that\'s killing me and the fact I got cheated on and all the other shit, my mom dying in July didn\'t help matters how much can a person take in a few months? I hit the gym and driving range yesterday and still felt terrible. Maybe this is one of those weekends in bed who knows anymore.
Thank for replying I\'m too down in the dumps :(
I\'m right there with you. Weekends are hell. It\'s afternoon and I\'m still trying to muster the will to go to the grocery store. I\'ve tried to fight the good fight but I feel like there\'s no point. Of course the point is that we deserve to lead happy, productive lives but that takes energy and divorce just seems sap all energy.
I can certainly see how finding out your wife is seeing someone has caused a setback. You devoted 24 years to her and she\'s seeing someone a mere six months later. That could reasonably make you feel disposable. The fact that she\'s moved on so quickly without taking the time resolve her issues is just proof that she\'s not in a healthy place. Don\'t be sad or envious. Be grateful that she\'s someone else\'s problem now.
As for bad timing, I\'m with you there too. My cat, who was almost 17, died the week before my husband asked for the divorce. My stepfather died five days later. Not only didn\'t my husband go to the funeral or offer my family his condolences, he rolled his eyes at me and told me I wasn\'t going to fall apart. He also fell for someone else before he asked the divorce. He had her in my house when I was out of town. I heard him on the phone calling her sweetheart. Even though we\'ve suffered a lot in a short amount of time, we\'re still standing. It\'s okay that we\'re having a rough weekend. We\'ve proven that we can persevere.
Coop, I am so with you on this. I am surrounded by these loving couples and families and live alone and it has been a year and some days it still stings the heck out of me. I try to feel joy for them, and sometimes I do. I used to have that, and maybe one day I will have that again. Just getting out of the house is hard sometimes. I feel rejected, ignored....
I got into bed last night with a good book and for the love of God I slept over 12 hours - a new record. It was not sad, depressed sleep...it was deep sleep, one dog, two cats and a book around me. Something shifted inside me last night. The no contact thing maybe is finally working.
I am going to go do the next best thing....which is hard to sort out.
Sending you a big hug.
Thanks Amy and missy..wow what a bad day. Not sure how many more of these I can take..??
She\'s his problem now, yeah that\'s the truth. Playing the shouldve would\'ve could\'ve in my head the last week or so is really taking a toll. At least I\'m maintaining no contact, so that\'s a positive I guess somehow or another. Reading this could be another year or more really jarred me this morning. I need to make some kind of effort to speed this up but what? Keeping busy, journaling, no contact...I even cracked and drank some captain Morgan last night and that gave me a horrible stomach ache this morning at about 1am lol, so that didn\'t help matters at all. I think I\'m staying close to home all weekend to just mellow out. Leaving the house just sounds too uncomfortable. What a waste of this beautiful weather but shit I don\'t see I have a choice.
I\'m really sorry you\'re feeling so bad. I know it\'s incredibly painful to find out she\'s seeing someone so soon, that\'s horrible. I start to panic just when I THINK mine might be seeing someone and I don\'t even know. It\'s a horrible feeling. I also feel worse when I go out because I think these are things I should be doing with a boyfriend. They say to get out and do stuff but it just makes me feel worse. I\'m actually better if I\'m home or just hanging out in the neighbor\'s backyard.
I can\'t deal with this for another year either. I downloaded a couple of samples of some books I\'m considering to speed things along. I\'[m going to try \"How to Fall Out of Love\" and \"Releasing a Person:Fast Recovery from Heartbreak\". I\'ll let you know if I\'m convinced to buy either one.
Thanks Agent :) sucks huh??Ugh
Missy yeah let me know. I also have a couple books in my amazon shopping cart I need to check out, need to update my payment info.
I mean I can handle being a little sad or something for a year..but not this paralyzing bullshit I feel. I\'ve been talking to my daughter today explaining what I\'m feeling she tells me mind over matter..her mom left her too I need to get stronger about this for her as well as my own sanity.
Thanks everyone..can\'t get worse at least :)
Wouldn\'t it be nice if \"mind over matter\" worked? Easier said than done.
Hang in there. You can do this one moment at a time and NO DRINKING!
I am being tough on you my friend. (((HUGS)))
Just so you know alcohol is a depressant and it will not help anything.
You know I am here for you.
I know and yes I know about alcohol but last night I needed something..anything to find some peace and sleep. Stupid I know :(
And yes I need toughness that\'s for sure
Thanks as always Daisy :)
Yes Coope, No drinking. Daisey Girl and I will stay on you about that one. You have done so well you don\'t want to step back. This has been a tough year for you. I know. Is there anyway you maybe feel like getting out to volunteer .
Sometimes when you help other people it is healing for you as well. Keep posting Coope I hate you are feeling bad today but we are all here for you to day to help cheer you up :).
Thanks butterfly you\'ve been so supportive everyone here is amazing. Just another bad weekend and so much on my mind and not being even able to call my mom anymore she only lived like 5 minutes away from me, everytime I take my exit home from work I turn left to my house or right to stop in and see her and that\'s gone now too and that was July 2 when she died so pretty fresh there too. They say u never get more than u can handle but I\'m not so sure about that? Sometimes it seems like life piles on. If I can get through all this in one piece I\'ll be so much stronger but I gotta get from here to there.
Volunteering is something i would like to explore eventually but today would be a waste of time I\'m struggling to just not go back to bed. My daughter is home in about 45 min so that will help hopefully. So nice outside and I\'m in an emotional pothole lol. Damn stupid
You will feel much better when you daughter gets home. It is easier to slide in a dark place when you are alone.
God don\'t I know it???!
Gotta be a little stronger for her here I know that but damn it\'s hard. This alone bullshit I know that\'s what it is because the last few years were shit anyways. I know I have got to conquer this first before I can realistically entertain any notion of another relationship.