6 month anniversary

I'm here, just reading various stuff on DS, playing my FB games that I use to relax me and such...and I glance down at the clock on the computer. Notice the date. at this time it was 12:30am. It was 6 months ago today that we went to H family reunion, thinking everything was fine and dandy. Altho I had mentioned to him that I wasn't happy, and a bit stressed out from taking care of the household, didn't know that he was burning me out from wasting his time, sexual energy, and child rearing duties from looking at porn. It will be 6 months tmrw night that I got him something special as I was thinking about him at a certain store. It will be then, after work, after shopping and coming home, only then did I go online, try to chase down the bizillionth virus on the computer that I discovered his everlasting secret porn stash history on the computer.
6 months. I thought we'd be both further along in recovery. He was giving himself 6 months of online "sobriety". now, we both have to face this. In order for him to regain my trust again, I need to let him be, altho I NEVER prevented him from going online. I actually encouraged him to come on DS.
I've been feeling and trying to keep at bay the panic attack coming upon me, amongst anything else. I saved in my cell a crisis helpline that I found thru researching in my county. good to know. It's a pychiatric crisis line too.