6/9/2013
It is essential that I stay focused and not wallow in whatever I wallow in. I want to remain forward in my thinking and positive in my outlook. I seem so concerned with things I know do not really matter and can ultimately ruin anything that I really want to achieve. I am more concerned with the world that surrounds me than the world that exists inside of my and that is an appalling way to live. I have this plan, this method to begin the take myself to a new beginning and yet I cannot even get started or I start in lurches and then stops and then nothing,
I took 2 nite-time pills to help me sleep last night and they only had the affect of keeping me awake,, seems to happen all the time and then I feel very tired and just cannot fall out ,, eventually I do, but it is really early in the morning and I wind up getting up at either 1 or 2 in the afternoon and do not get out of the house till sometimes 4/p. This is very unacceptable to me and I want to change this to something much more reasonable to 9/a and to make this a consistent thing,, and that is the rub of it all.. I have a hard time being consistent with much of anything nowdays.. I am writing this at 1:38/p in the afternoon having gotten up about 20 minutes ago..
There are 2 big goals .. 2 big features that I want to work on,, one is finding some new local friends and two to find an addition to volunteer work or even a paying job if that is in the offing .. maybe right now both or these are a bit far reaching for right now ,,, I am not happy with the direction I seem to be going in, and I can't seem to get a fix on how to make a change to correct it ,, one that would at least send me in a right direction,,
One positive is that my diet and exercise routine are going well,, and I am being fairly consistent with that ,,, there are slips but I am able to re-join as opposed to just losing it totally,,, this has been a bit of a challenge as it has been raining here a lot, and once I stop doing walks it is or has been nearly impossible for me to pick up on it again and the same with the diet ,, I will eat something that I know that I shouldn't and it is off to the races. Whether or not I lose the weight in numbers has to be a lower concern than fitting into my closes and looking a lot better than I did,, which is of a much higher priority,,
It has happened again,, I go to someplace else on here without saving first and I lose it ,,, I have to stop doing that ,,,I seem to have lost an important paragraph,, damn it ,, I have a lousy memory which doesn't help either ,,
I need to place a reminder at the beginning of each entry to warn me of this wanting to do something else while doing these entries ,,, I need to save before going anywhere.. I am learning I guess..
I took 2 nite-time pills to help me sleep last night and they only had the affect of keeping me awake,, seems to happen all the time and then I feel very tired and just cannot fall out ,, eventually I do, but it is really early in the morning and I wind up getting up at either 1 or 2 in the afternoon and do not get out of the house till sometimes 4/p. This is very unacceptable to me and I want to change this to something much more reasonable to 9/a and to make this a consistent thing,, and that is the rub of it all.. I have a hard time being consistent with much of anything nowdays.. I am writing this at 1:38/p in the afternoon having gotten up about 20 minutes ago..
There are 2 big goals .. 2 big features that I want to work on,, one is finding some new local friends and two to find an addition to volunteer work or even a paying job if that is in the offing .. maybe right now both or these are a bit far reaching for right now ,,, I am not happy with the direction I seem to be going in, and I can't seem to get a fix on how to make a change to correct it ,, one that would at least send me in a right direction,,
One positive is that my diet and exercise routine are going well,, and I am being fairly consistent with that ,,, there are slips but I am able to re-join as opposed to just losing it totally,,, this has been a bit of a challenge as it has been raining here a lot, and once I stop doing walks it is or has been nearly impossible for me to pick up on it again and the same with the diet ,, I will eat something that I know that I shouldn't and it is off to the races. Whether or not I lose the weight in numbers has to be a lower concern than fitting into my closes and looking a lot better than I did,, which is of a much higher priority,,
It has happened again,, I go to someplace else on here without saving first and I lose it ,,, I have to stop doing that ,,,I seem to have lost an important paragraph,, damn it ,, I have a lousy memory which doesn't help either ,,
I need to place a reminder at the beginning of each entry to warn me of this wanting to do something else while doing these entries ,,, I need to save before going anywhere.. I am learning I guess..
Replies
I hate when that happens. I didnt realize you could save as you go. I am wishing you luck that you stay with your goals. It can be hard.....but very rewarding when you do. Take care.