6/18/2013
My last entry from yesterday didn't take at all and disappear ,,, we'll see if this one fares any better ,, Going into something of a glum time not sure what is causing it ,,, but it is not something that I am enthusiastic about ,,
Been having a difficult time of it lately,, no particular reason other than the normal stuff I deal with most days and perhaps that is part of the problem,,, I don't know ,, they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results ,,, and that is pretty much my current standard ,,, and it has become a frustration to say the least.
On most days I wind up going to McD's to get some coffee and a snack wrap and sit and journal,,, sometimes I will read my Ipad and go to Politico or CNN.. I will read my e/mail if I have gotten any which is from a few who seem pretty consistent ,, my intention is to be social with others who have like interests and who seem to be seeking someone they can correspond with ,,,, more times than none ,, it is a wash out and I get nothing back. I could be funny or interesting and I guess there is some other agenda present ,,, who the hell knows ..
I really need to concentrate on one item and one alone right now ,, that is to find some activity vol or otherwise to engage my interest and time ,, everything and anything other than that is a waste right now ,, and is just an ego indulgence ,,,
So,, now I know where I want to go,,, it is my singularity of focus to commit myself to try and get there ,, and do the action that is required to work that to a good ending ,,, and at the very least work the problem to some conclusion.
Been having a difficult time of it lately,, no particular reason other than the normal stuff I deal with most days and perhaps that is part of the problem,,, I don't know ,, they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results ,,, and that is pretty much my current standard ,,, and it has become a frustration to say the least.
On most days I wind up going to McD's to get some coffee and a snack wrap and sit and journal,,, sometimes I will read my Ipad and go to Politico or CNN.. I will read my e/mail if I have gotten any which is from a few who seem pretty consistent ,, my intention is to be social with others who have like interests and who seem to be seeking someone they can correspond with ,,,, more times than none ,, it is a wash out and I get nothing back. I could be funny or interesting and I guess there is some other agenda present ,,, who the hell knows ..
I really need to concentrate on one item and one alone right now ,, that is to find some activity vol or otherwise to engage my interest and time ,, everything and anything other than that is a waste right now ,, and is just an ego indulgence ,,,
So,, now I know where I want to go,,, it is my singularity of focus to commit myself to try and get there ,, and do the action that is required to work that to a good ending ,,, and at the very least work the problem to some conclusion.
Replies
HELLO FRUSTRATION IS THE WORD, HOPE YOU DO FIND SOME FRIENDS TO SHARE BUT ITS NOT EASY, EVERYBODY HAS ITS OWN OPINION, UNLESS ONES BELONGS TO A CHURCH SECT , NEW AGE, AND SO ON, THERE IS VERY LITTLE OUT HERE , HAVE YOU TRIED TO DO SOME RESCUE WORK, IT HELPS , I SEE YOU ARE IN SUNNY FLORIDA, ARE YOU NEAR THE OCEAN, DO YOU LIKE LIVING THERE, I AM SURE ITS BETTER THAN HERE, ANYWAY KEEP WELL, LOVE LUCY\'\'
Hi Neil, you are intelligent and need stimulation. Glad that you are able to journal. Just want you to know that I read your journal and that in thinking of you.
Thanks all.. I am continuing my exercises ,,well part of it anyway,,, and in that respect I am doing very well.. lost some 16 lbs from my high,, won\'t say what. Just that I can easily fit into my pants when before it was either a struggle or impossible.. so that was a first level goal for me ,, I\'m doing pretty well all things considered ,,, James Gandolfini died today at \"51\" ..when I heard that I almost flipped ,,, thought some \"wise guy \" in Italy had an idea ,,, we\'ll turns out he had a good ole fashion heart attack,, but at 51 ??...I guess the lesson here is that it pays not to go on vacations !!
I thought he was really great as Tony Soprano ... I always though that the cast would come back to an HBO movie ten years into mob retirement ,,, that would have been something to see,, I am sure all the families are lighting candles tonight,,, he was great ,,