Lately I have been having bad memories and flasbacks. I hate this. It hard to "walk it off" when I try to pull another, positive thought, I just get more of the bad.
I have so many stupide triggers. Anything about Philly- cream cheese, cheese stake, Just a million of stupid little things, that would probably never trigger anyone else. I get at least 100 a day, and this is 13 years later.
My bunny is gone, and my ex-bf is back. He likes to sit out on the path behind my house, stalking me. Waiting for his opportunity to break in thru the window.
He waits til I go to bed, to go to sleep, to do to me what my ex- hus did. Last Wed I woke up with a sandpapered koock, but I didn't realize it was him until a few days later when I got to talk face to face with my only friend. We figured it out together and it makes so much more sense than the oroginsl person I thought it was.
I feel brain dead and more gravity than I ever have.
I have so many stupide triggers. Anything about Philly- cream cheese, cheese stake, Just a million of stupid little things, that would probably never trigger anyone else. I get at least 100 a day, and this is 13 years later.
My bunny is gone, and my ex-bf is back. He likes to sit out on the path behind my house, stalking me. Waiting for his opportunity to break in thru the window.
He waits til I go to bed, to go to sleep, to do to me what my ex- hus did. Last Wed I woke up with a sandpapered koock, but I didn't realize it was him until a few days later when I got to talk face to face with my only friend. We figured it out together and it makes so much more sense than the oroginsl person I thought it was.
I feel brain dead and more gravity than I ever have.
Replies
Oh, boy.... I also hate this, and never have a lot of luck \"walking it off\".... I just walk in circles.
Can you maybe get a TRO on ex-bf or something?
As for triggers, you\'re talking to a gal who triggers off of--- wait for it--- cologne. Yeah. Also beef, beer, ice cream.... We have what we have.
Gentlest hugs.
I have been delving back into my writings again recently... I have reviewed several pieces which were written while in the deepest, darkest, moments of flashbacks...
They are wicked and unwelcome and difficult to work with...
For me, it is not an issue of time... I am 47 years old and many, many years after my perpetration and still struggle with those moments I am not present, but back with two feet in a world which no longer exists...
I have many triggers also... Often they come upon me very, very quickly and without provocation...
It is a painful experience...
I am grateful you were able to talk with your friend... Thank the powers which be there is always... Someone, somewhere with whom I can speak...
Had I not that, my options would be far, far more limited...
Be well and take care of yourself...