I have just been plain lazy this past two weeks. There is a lot that needs to be done, but I have spent most of my time on the computer either visiting this site or playing computer games. We started cleaning out one of the rooms we have in our house, that the canaries was in( yes Peter is raising canaries ). They have beautiful singing voices but am glad they are outside in a building instead of inside all the time. Very messy and the smell was a bit overwhelming at times. Anyway with the birds gone we tried to clean out the room became depressed because we was looking over some stuff we had in there that we had to throw away that reminded us of our past business ventures. That room we fixed up for a nail room, we both took classes to learn how to apply acrylic nails. They were just becoming popular here. People were charging 70.00 for a set, so I thought that is a big price for a set of nails and started charging 30.00, we did pretty good, but we had a set back over a stupid sign we had put in front of the house, closed down the business so I wouldn't get fined so we could work on the problem of the sign and weeks turned into months then when we finally got the issued solved more nail salons was opening and I lost out on a lot of customers. So we just never started it back up. We have tried so many things Water filter, homemade soap, nails, and jewelry, seem to go fine at first then we just run out of ideas.  We live on a main road but the parking here is not so grand so opening up a business where we live is out of the question and we really don't have the money for renting a building in town. So that's my business story. I guess I will stick to nursing.... anyway in cleaning out the room it made us so depressed that we haven't finished cleaning it out. LOL So maybe today we can get it together. So I have been lazy.....Oh I have been washing clothes, and sweeping mopping the rest of the house, but I really don't care about house work as much as I did. It doesn't bother me that cob webs are hanging from the ceiling as much anymore. I use to break me ass cleaning, but usually you get visitors when everything is a mess anyway. I figure if people are there is visit your house then they really need to piss off because they are not there to visit you, so therefore I don't worry about the mess. I do what I feel like doing and leave it at that. My son has still not contacted me....I am going to wait on him to see the light, because I am not going to beg him to have a relationship with me. It's really up to him. There is nothing I can do to change his mind. I very suprised I haven't heard from his wife because I sent her the same email as I sent him. Still hurts though.... Don't know why I am writing all this stuff just figured I nedded to write in my journal, it helps me sort out things when I go back and read me ramblings and then sometimes I say oh my God why did I mention that???? I talked to my Mom this week, I always like to give her a call every two to three weeks we usually end up talking for hours. Khristy use to live with her at time and they both really cared for one another almost as mother and daughter rather than grandmother and granddaughter. No matter what grandmother was always there for Khristy. It got to a point that her other grand kids were beginning to notice the difference, but Khristy did stay in contact with her if only to use her for awhile then leave. When she was on drugs she used a lot of people in the family to get the drugs. We(My Mom and I) came to the conclusion that we knew Khrsity loved us and Khristy knew we loved her, that it was the drugs and the need to have them was the reason she did some of the things she did to us. I use to get very upset over the relationship I wanted with her, but now am satisfied with the relationship that I have had with with her when she wasn't on drugs and sometimes she she was on drugs and I didn't know the difference. Khristy I love you no matter what you did in your life, I didn't approve of some of the things you chose to do but never stopped me loving you. As I once told you when I mad at you for stealing money from me that you are my daughter and I will always love you, but that doesn't mean I approve of what you did. I will never stop loving you.