It has been a while. I am numb. Everything is going so right, but I just don't feel anything.
 
I was away last week and everyone was having a great time, I was taking part but it was as though I was looking at everything through clouded glass. Today, we got everything through with the purchase of our house. I should be over the moon, it feels as though it is happening to someone else.
 
I don't want to be here any more, and I can't even explain why. I feel ungrateful for the lucky hand I've been dealt recently, but none of it matters, I just want to go, I want my pointless existence to end.