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Trolling through Facebook can be an emotional minefield...Halloween was Cassi's favorite holiday. She would spend weeks making her own amazing costumes...so I see her friends getting dressed to go out tonight...no mention of her. They have moved on and I just feel so betrayed for her. It's like she never existed to them...Then there are photos of my friends (former) posting pics of their costumes before going out...the ones that never call, never text, never message me and probably wonder why I am just not moving on...as if I could. When Cassi lost her life, I lost life as I knew it as well.
I don't want this life, but I want to thank all of you for being a part of it. I can't imagine trying to navigate my way without others to talk to that actually understand.
I don't want this life, but I want to thank all of you for being a part of it. I can't imagine trying to navigate my way without others to talk to that actually understand.
Replies
In Mexico it\'s a friendly time with your dead. Picnicing with them in the grave yard, remembering their spirit, your love, happiness being together. Honoring them.....but here, we fear death. And distance ourselves. It\'s all one whole part of the same life. I am so sorry for your loss, your terrible agony, love, abby
With you dear Gina in all the ways possible and yet also honoring the uniqueness of each mom\'s path too.
Loving care,
XO Joanie
Most of us in some ways, never move on. We have our memories and holidays make those more intense and painful in a way. In a way, they remind us of the good times too, those we treasure(d) with our children. I am grateful to have them and to know the moms here. Sending love, Leda
Oh Gina I share your same feelings from this Halloween Night.
This was also one of Michael\'s favorite holidays along with Christmas Eve, Christmas day, & July 4th.
I made it through the night but not without breaking down a little while ago. It\'s another holiday without my sweet son.
Oh the pain we must endure.
I hate it most days.
Hoping someday we can all have some peace in our hearts.
Hugs
Laura
Xoxo
It was my son and DIL\'s anniversary yesterday. They had a Halloween Wedding. It was so much fun. I will never forget Lisa as Marj Simpson. It was 11 years ago. Halloween is hard because I am so happy for Andrew and Tiina. But it hurts like Hell that Lisa is not here to enjoy Halloween. She loved making costumes for Cevyn. I know I am blessed to have Andrew, Cevyn and Tiina but I sure as heck wish Lisa was here.
I hear you when you talk about friends going on with their lives. We are so attached to our children and it is heartbreaking to see their friends going on with their happy lives. I hate to admit it but I sometimes secretly smile when one of them has a set back. Of course they will never understand our pain unless they lose a child. I hope they never have to.
Love to you dear Gina and beautiful Cassi.
I know what you mean about facebook. I agree that is it very hard to see all the things people are doing and not including us. I too have a hard time with this. Wishing some peace for you and enjoyment in the memories that we share with our children. I am grateful for those. Hugs, Kathy
I\'m learning to avoid facebook around the holidays. It\'s just too hard to see all those happy intact families when ours is not. I\'m glad theirs are, it\'s just too much of a reminder for me right now that ours will never be whole again. Praying you have some peace my friend. Hugs,
DEAR GINA: i HAVE READ YOUR JOURNALS ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH , AND WE JUST DON,T UNDERSTAND YOUR GRIEF. WE ALL UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE FEELING WE HAVE ALSO LOST OUR CHILDREN . ((FOR MOMS ONLY)) WE GIVE BIRTH TO THESE CHILDREN LIKE YOU AND NOW WE HAVE LOST THEM IT IS SAD HORRIBLE . , YOUR HOUSE IS SO EMPTY MY WHOLE LIFE REVOLVED AROUND MY DAUGHTER SHE WAS SICK LUPUS. WE ALL GRIEF DIFFERANT FOR SOME REASON YOU JUST DON,T COMPREHEND THAT IT IS HARD WE FEEL SORRY FOR YOU AND CASSIE, I,AM SORRY CASSIES FRIEND DID,NT MENTION HER AT HOLLOWEEN , HAPPENED TO ME TO I FELT SO SAD. ((GRIEF IS A LIFE LONG PROCESS))) IT WILL BECOME EASIER TO DEAL WITH AS TI ME GOES BY. YOUR LIFE WILL NOT BE TURMOIL AND CONSTANT UPS AND DOWNS. PLEASE WE ALL UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, i THINK YOU DON,T. BLESS YOUR CASSIE LOVE MARY ANN