Thank You
I seem to be on an upswing. I understand this is part of the process and that I have so far to go. I know I have many, many bad days ahead of me, much pain to process. Saying that, I feel better. I felt better yesterday and I feel better today. Yesterday I decided to intentionally focus on happy memories and things I have to be grateful for. I have a LOT to be grateful for.
There are some truly faithful sisters on year...years ahead of me in their journeys. I feel like the reason they are so active on here is to help the new people like me. It seems they give so much more than they get and I hope to be like that some day. When I turn on my computer I automatically go to my e-mail first. I am so happy to see messages from DS. I go through all my other messages first and save my notifications from DS to read last, so I have more time to read them. It has been a huge comfort. I never would have expected to survive something like this, much less want to search for gratitude. However, here I am...still living...a few weeks after the worst day of my life, after my greatest fear was realized. I have so much to be grateful for, still.
I am grateful for my sisters here, my sisters of the heart. I look up to you and want to be like you. Someday I want to be there for a mother who is consumed with grief, like some of you have been for me.
There are some truly faithful sisters on year...years ahead of me in their journeys. I feel like the reason they are so active on here is to help the new people like me. It seems they give so much more than they get and I hope to be like that some day. When I turn on my computer I automatically go to my e-mail first. I am so happy to see messages from DS. I go through all my other messages first and save my notifications from DS to read last, so I have more time to read them. It has been a huge comfort. I never would have expected to survive something like this, much less want to search for gratitude. However, here I am...still living...a few weeks after the worst day of my life, after my greatest fear was realized. I have so much to be grateful for, still.
I am grateful for my sisters here, my sisters of the heart. I look up to you and want to be like you. Someday I want to be there for a mother who is consumed with grief, like some of you have been for me.
Replies
You ARE that mother right now. When you journal and are transparent you give to each of us in ways that we need. What you give me is the reminder of compassion for those in their first days and weeks and a remembering of where I was. I looked to moms who were a few steps further along to hold my hand and sometimes \"drag\" me along when I needed to be and then to let me go too at times when I knew I needed to venture \"alone\" for awhile. My heart knows them by name and some of them have sprouted their wings and are off to new ventures and others are still here.
It is a gift to heal together and please know that who you are is that gift that you are giving right now, today.
I am so happy to know that BE-ing here matters for you as it certainly does for me.
May today continue to give you moments of respite and when the wild waves hit hold on tight and we\'ll ride them out as a community. That is what we do here with one another.
Healing hugs and moments of pause to be able to remember ALL of Cassi.
XO Joanie
You are being that mother right now!!! By sharing your heart with us, you show other new moms that it\'s safe to do so....and you show them how very normal they are because you are right there in the beginning with them!!
Yes we have much to be grateful for, and speaking that gratitude is so very healing and necessary!
Continue sharing. Continue reading. Continue breathing. And I promise, you will find YOUR peace and YOUR joy for life again! I know, because I have found mine.
Tight heart hugs~~Teri
You are SO important to not only us, but to other new moms! Yes, some of us are \"ahead\" of you. But when you journal, it reminds me of how it was \"back then\" (which seems like yesterday and I feel your pain so raw all over again). In fact, it seems impossible that I am one of the \"old-timers\" now...How can that be? You are so valued and loved here! Like Joanie said, we are a community and like I journaled about years ago, I liken us to a flock of geese. We have you, flying along with us. And I promise too, this will get better and you will find joy again, if you allow that possibliity.
Peace