Well, I haven't written in my journal for a while. Not since I got my BFN, I've still been going on the site off and on, trying to offer my DS sisters support when I'm on the site. I met some really great people. I've been dealing with the BFN pretty well, I think. I didn't have a nervous breakdown or slip into depression. Don't get me wrong, I was sad, but I think I was more prepared emotionally this time. I didn't close the lines of communication with my DH. We discussed our feelings. At first we both immediately started looking into adoption. But now we've backed away from that for the moment. I'm using this time to live life and taking a break from constantly dealing with IF problems. I know that all things happen for a reason, and I believe when God is ready for me to have a child whether it's a biological child or adopted child He will make a way. Right now I feel great about the life I have with my DH. I'm happy with my job and the many blessings that God has bestowed upon us. I won't lie and say that I don't still wish that the IVF would have worked. I wished it had, but this is the life I have to live and make the most of. I will continue to come on to DS and offer support and encouragement to my DS sisters, I will never forget how they were there for me in my time of need when I felt like I couldn't really discuss my feelings with anyone else. Even though my cycle didn't work out for me I want to be there for my sisters, like they were there for me. I don't log on everyday like I did when I was in my 2WW because I'm tired after I get off work. I took off from work during my 2WW, and sometimes I don't log on because it makes me sad to read some of my entries and see how full of hope I was at times and then for it to all be for nothing. But I will log on and at least once a week and check on my friends. Again I thank you all for being there for me during a very rough time.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

It\'s nice to hear from you...and great to hear you are still hanging around watching out for us all. You have a great deal of strength for what you have been thru!
deleted_user
deleted_user

It\'s good to hear from you! I\'m so glad that you are able to think and feel positivily....this IF journey is tough to keep our chins up. I wish you and DH the best.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so glad to hear that you are handling this well. The disappointment can be awful. It is totally understandable to want to be there and sometimes to need a break from reading things that make you sad. Do what feels right for you! I will keep you in my prayers friend.