This 2WW is driving me crazy. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I can't seem to focus on anything other than the wait. I'm so torn inside and afraid. I want to believe that I am pregnant, but nothing feels different in my body. I feel hormonal , but I've been feeling like that since before my transfer. I'm soooo afraid of a BFN. The last time I had a BFN I felt like I was losing my mind and although I was receiving calls from the few people I informed about my IF problems, that didn't help me at all. I felt so all alone, I sometimes felt like I couldn't go on. With God's help I was able to go on, but sometimes I wonder why did I do IVF again and risk having to feel that pain all over again, but I couldn't go through life wondering "what if". I try so hard to try to be positive and keep the faith, but it's so hard, especially when you know that BFN is a very real possibility and more of a likelihood than a BFP. Sometimes I feel that I have let my IF problems consume my life and that now it has become an obsession. I remember years ago before it was confirmed that I had IVF problems, I would pray every month that I wouldn't see AF that month, and every month like clock work she would appear right on schedule. I would cry and feel as though I was at a funeral and crying over the death of what could have been. Now I"m used to AF coming right on schedule and I no longer cry over it, I think I've come to terms with the fact that I will not be able to conceive naturally. With all of my IF problems I know that it will take a miracle from God for me to get pregnant and that's what scares me, because then I think "What's so special about me that God would do something like that for me". I don't understand, sometimes I feel like I've come to terms with this whole situation and will be ok if I never have kids, and then sometimes I feel like if I get another BFN I will lose my mind for real this time, sometimes I feel that will be the straw that will break the camel's back and I will have a nervous breakdown and end up in some mental institute. I just pray that God will carry me like he did with my first BFN. God, I hope and pray that you let this work.