SIGH
Today @ work, another co-worker shared that her 18 year old daughter will be joining the Armed Services - swearing in is in 10 days.....I thought how exciting for this rebellious 18 year old, it will change her life and look @ all the opportunities she will have. This co-worker is a single mom of 2 girls who has struggled so I was thinking she would be happy for her....guess I thought wrong.....
Prior to me walking away because I don't belong in the conversation - she was crying with another co-worker who was crying also saying, "she'll come back, changed" , "you will have missed that part of her life", "the fear of not being able to protect her", (even though we all know, choices are made without our protection or input)....., " you'll cry when she leaves"; "how you will miss her"....then the last thing my co-worker said was, "my heart hurts, an ache, a pain in my chest that I can't seem to help".....oh, sisters - I walked away....the pain in my heart, the longing, the ache, I deal with everyday - wishing I could face time, wishing I could skype, wishing I could feel her hand,a hug, touch her foot in that hospital bed one more time, wishing for my daughter to text me.....but it's not about me, is it? so I walked away - they don't know the ache I feel everyday and that's a good thing but I just wish that this co-worker could see the good in this decision her daughter has made.....
((((hugs)))) to you - will keep to myself today, in my own thoughts, trying to see the positive - the sunshine outside my window, the kids that make me laugh, and YOU.
Vicki
Prior to me walking away because I don't belong in the conversation - she was crying with another co-worker who was crying also saying, "she'll come back, changed" , "you will have missed that part of her life", "the fear of not being able to protect her", (even though we all know, choices are made without our protection or input)....., " you'll cry when she leaves"; "how you will miss her"....then the last thing my co-worker said was, "my heart hurts, an ache, a pain in my chest that I can't seem to help".....oh, sisters - I walked away....the pain in my heart, the longing, the ache, I deal with everyday - wishing I could face time, wishing I could skype, wishing I could feel her hand,a hug, touch her foot in that hospital bed one more time, wishing for my daughter to text me.....but it's not about me, is it? so I walked away - they don't know the ache I feel everyday and that's a good thing but I just wish that this co-worker could see the good in this decision her daughter has made.....
((((hugs)))) to you - will keep to myself today, in my own thoughts, trying to see the positive - the sunshine outside my window, the kids that make me laugh, and YOU.
Vicki
Replies
Oh Vicki this just breaks my heart. I understand your feelings & am so so sorry. Other moms don\'t know just how good they have it, do they? If only.
I\'m hugging you a little tighter as you struggle through this extra emotional day.
Lots of love & understanding sweet friend ...... Vicki
There is a flip side to this...When my son told me he had signed on to the Navy, my heart did a flip flop...my spirit was not comfortable at all. My brother had come back from \'nam broken. When my boy too, came back different, it was the beginning of his descent. Perhaps that is what your coworker was talking about. It is so hard to hear people be sad when there kids are still here on earth with them. You were smart to walk away..I can learn a thing or two from you...
walking away was the best thing you could do for yourself.. love ya!
Yes, a huge sigh indeed and walking away is what we do... I have done it plenty of times too my friend.
Much love your way and holding all good thoughts for your time shared with Hunter. Deepest of sighs and so much understanding about what pierces our hearts...
XO Joanie
Oh my dear - I understand. Others just don\'t know.
Tight hugs, M
I feel just the way you do. My heart breaks hearing moms talking about their daughters.They can talk to them hug them them. But I can\'t I hate to feel that way but a the things
I hate to feel this way. But I missed so much in my daughters life. I have no grand kids.I just feel so sad
Bless your angel love mary ann
I wish people could just have a glimps at our pain...........
Gentle hugs to you, Vicki. xxx
Tight hugs dear friend. Sometimes that\'s all we can do is walk away to sustain and protect our hearts.
Love,
Diane
We are complicated creatures, grieving mothers. You said it wasn\'t about you...well, my grief is so strong I believe it\'s always about me. Every conversation I hear about a parent complaining about their child...I want to shake them, slap them...I would give ANYTHING to have my child around, no matter WHAT she would do...I would kiss the ground she walked on...but no one understands unless they are in this sad sisterhood. My child, the loss of my child is still so huge and I see it in everything I see and everything I hear and feel very disappointed when everyone else does not acknowledge that...and it is so easy to offend me!!! Even close family and loved ones have felt my wrath over completely disrespectful statements that they would find innocuous. We, your sisters of the heart, totally get it!!! And I am so sorry you had to go through that today.
Yes walking away helps them but we are still left with our loss. They never never understand. I guess it is not possible for them, they are so lucky. Wishing you some peace today. Hugs, Kathy
I can remember the times that someone complained to me something about their living child. In my eyes they were so ungrateful for their child that was still living! The child that could still speak to their parents on the phone, the child that would still come to visit...but was still living! Their child may be staying out all night or may be running around with the wrong crowd but at least they still had their child. It was so hard to acknowledge their reality when my own was so devastating and it was hard for them to know how much more devastating the loss of a child was. We live in different realities than \"those parents.\" Sending you love and compassion and continuing to pray for you and Hunter,
Leda
I am so sorry, you had to deal with that. Walking away was a very good way to handle the situation. Unless you have lost a child, there is no way you can understand. I don\'t think people try to be insensitive, they just don\'t \"get it\".
I hope you and Hunter are doing well. Thank God, you have each other!!
((((HUGS)))), Julia
You said it perfectly...they don\'t know the ache. We don\'t want them to know our heartache, so we do what you did...walk away. Things like that used to really bother me but as time as passed, I know that their heartache is real to them and I try to have empathy. Much love. Robin