Sunday
Well, after such an amazing week-end and feeling so supported and loved, reality has set in, with work & stupid people.....Why can't others (good friends) just say, I'll be thinking about you on Sunday....NOT ' HAVE A NICE MOTHER'S DAY........ I know we have all said, others don't know what to say, give them grace....Today I don't feel like it....Just the reminder, my mom is not here and my daughter is not here and I'm it that's left on this earth to somehow live a life of purpose.....TODAY......I don't want to....I find that "pulling up my big girl panties" is getting harder and harder.....I just want to throw a fit like a 3 year old.....and have OTHERS understand ME just for once..........
I'm done-----for TODAY..:)
I'm done-----for TODAY..:)
Replies
People really have NO CLUE what to say! I wish we could just skip over Sunday & go straight from Sat. to Monday this week. Please know that you\'re in my thoughts & I pray that the Lord will hold you especially close to Him this weekend.
Hugs to you, amazing Hunter & ALWAYS to your precious Jennifer,
Love,
Donna
They are simply not thinking about how this might feel and be for you dear Vicki. I know it hurts and all you are asking for is a little compassion and I\'m afraid that those kinds of responses become so rote no one thinks...
With you and understanding in only the way that another mother can who walks this path alongside of you.
With love,
XO Joanie
If you need to throw that fit then do it, if my shower or car could talk what a tale it could tell! Release, release, release and as our dear Gari would say, then \"Repeat.\"
I am so grateful you posted this. I like all of us fight so hard not to scream at people with their cheery Happy Mother\'s Day... I too cry for my mom and my daughter... I resent like hell they\'re not here... I will pick myself up and move forward but please please please... understand for me... Happy Mother\'s Day isn\'t a possibility... I can handle that... but I\'m having trouble with people who don\'t get it bringing their joy to me and expecting me to mirror it... That being said... I am still trying to pull up my very big (a wee drop of humor) panties... My grandson... the eldest child for Cara, my daughter who died, is turning 21 on Mother\'s Day. The fact that this big birthday is falling on Mother\'s Day has been hurting him... It brings up the sadness and the anger that his mom once again can\'t be here for his special day... It sucks... I am trying to help him all I can and I\'m going to ask you all to please pray for him. I also am encouraging him to plant some flowers in loving memory of his mother. I\'m hoping being busy and creating something pretty for his mom will help him. Again I truly thank you for your post... I too needed to vent. I hope you will consider planting a potted plant or something in memory of your mom. Hugs Elissa
iI guess people just don,t think it will hurt (I have no Mom and my daughter died to brother father) one one left. I think people just try to be n ice. I know I have felt bad when I say have a Merry Christmas or merry anything. I just want to axknolodge to them. What hurts me most it is not Happy Mothers Day to say it. it is reading all the journals of the grand kids going out for Mothers Day taking their grandmothers and Mothers out to dinner or lunch laughter and a happy day. I cannot stand to read it. Sunday is just another day to me . If i want to vist my mom I have to go to a cemartary, No hugs no laughter just crying. love mary ann
I so understand where sometimes not feeling like showing grace to people\'s comments. I remember even feeling \"it\'s just not fair that those of us who have lost a child need to educate others about what to say & not say.\" Sometimes I still feel that way. The 7th anniversary of the loss of my sons just passed a few days ago. The past couple weeks my patience & tolerance level is very low. Even the littlest things really gets on my nerves. For what we have experienced these feelings are probably pretty common. Im still trying to find ways to not bite someone\'s head off after a hurtful comment. No matter which technique I try to use...deep breaths always help. Throwing a fit can help, even when most of mine are private. My therapist has helped my see that writing my feelings can be very therapeutic. Sometimes what I write can even be scary, but shredding the paper afterwards is an effective way of letting those feelings out without having evidence. ; )
Hang in there....you will find things that work for you. In the meantime we are always here for you & with you. We understand your pain, anger & broken heart. Many hugs ......Vicki
Yes, this thing called Mother\'s Day can be very difficult for us. It was so very difficult the first couple of years. (My mother passed January 8, 2008 and Josh in August.) I remember the school scene as well with me being the secretary, so I understand your apprehension of not trying to be rude and snap at the co-workers and/or students. This is a tumultuous path and I am so sorry you are on it...
Oh my gosh. Do I ever get that. Ever since Lisa died, I felt like I was failing others by grieving out loud. Having people tell me and insinuate that I should get a life. Nope they don\'t understand but it doesn\'t make their comments any easier. Why don\'t they just ask us what would help. Why do we have to understand them and cut them some slack when they don\'t do the same for us.
So, you are not alone. Try to avoid the \'happy people and take care of you. Wishing you a peaceful weekend.
Love and tight hugs,
Marlene
I hear you.
Wish we could just sleep through Mothers\' day!! I can not keep up \"the show\". It is in no way, a happy day for me. I so understand what you are saying...
(((HUGS)))..Julia
Sounds like a good time to throw those panties in the trash. You have the right. I will admit that the stupid people comment made me smile..at least until I read the rest of the journal. I hope you are so busy that you have no time to think. Love, Lauri
I understand. Hugs, Paula
so understand,,, I am dreading Saturday evening,,, there will be so many \"happy\" phrases all night... and for me they bring the tears...love ya!
It just sucks (sorry for the bad language). Even on a stupid phone call with ATT about my internet, the woman has to wish me a happy mother\'s day as I hang up. Hope you are doing as well as possible -- I loved your journal about the retreat -- it sounded wonderful and I hope you can grab back on to some of that goodness and peace.
I have learned to deal with the Happy Mothers day because I still have a daughter living and grandies. I is not the hardest pill to swallow anymore.
I do agree that people don\'t deal with their words very well. Others suck at it LOL
tight hugs
Penny