Friday
I love my job and co-workers most of the time..I have a good relationship with them and because they are younger, they often ask my advice or talk to me...in saying that I was "harsh" with one of the moms this morning and I just need to "journal it out".....I trust you all and I trust that you will know I understand this mom's pain.
One of my co-workers here has 2 daughters, a 13 year old and an 18 year old - the 18 year old decided rules were too strict @ home and moved out without a notice, without a word to her mom. This happened 2 weeks ago...of course my co-worker is hurt, of course she "doesn't understand", "of course she is sad because her daughter is posting this & that on facebook, etc. I get it - it's a blow....Jennifer wouldn't come home @ nite sometimes, but she was on drugs and I worried myself sick.....In saying all of the above today - my co-worker is saying she doesn't want to "do anything" with her other daughter; she doesn't know if her life will ever be the same...You and I know, there needs to be a maturity level of my co-worker to realize this is about her daughter spreading her wings, not a dig to her mom but we sure take on the hurt and always think we as moms did something wrong, don't we? I have been listening to her, trying to point out the good, give it some time....she'll come around, etc....finally this morning, my co-worker said - I hate my life because of what she has done to me....I said in a soft voice, not angry, even though I'm sure it sounded harsh - "she didn't die" - you can see her on facebook - she's okay....your life will continue....you need to try and be there for your other daughter ....my co-worker thanked me but now I'm feeling maybe I shouldn't have said that (too late) -
Death of a child changes your life forever - death of a child changes your outlook on life - death of a child messes with your identity, hurts so bad that you can't even breathe, death of my daughter, Jennifer, feels like I've lost my legs and I'm learning how to walk again....a child moving out because she's angry???? the kicker is, my co-worker in her "not knowing" said - I now know how you feel.....I kept my mouth shut, walked away knowing in my heart, "no you don't but that's okay - it's all relative - the pain that she is experiencing...is devastating to her..SIGH.......
Okay - I've journaled it out....so grateful you are here everytime, anytime. Sending much love, Vicki
One of my co-workers here has 2 daughters, a 13 year old and an 18 year old - the 18 year old decided rules were too strict @ home and moved out without a notice, without a word to her mom. This happened 2 weeks ago...of course my co-worker is hurt, of course she "doesn't understand", "of course she is sad because her daughter is posting this & that on facebook, etc. I get it - it's a blow....Jennifer wouldn't come home @ nite sometimes, but she was on drugs and I worried myself sick.....In saying all of the above today - my co-worker is saying she doesn't want to "do anything" with her other daughter; she doesn't know if her life will ever be the same...You and I know, there needs to be a maturity level of my co-worker to realize this is about her daughter spreading her wings, not a dig to her mom but we sure take on the hurt and always think we as moms did something wrong, don't we? I have been listening to her, trying to point out the good, give it some time....she'll come around, etc....finally this morning, my co-worker said - I hate my life because of what she has done to me....I said in a soft voice, not angry, even though I'm sure it sounded harsh - "she didn't die" - you can see her on facebook - she's okay....your life will continue....you need to try and be there for your other daughter ....my co-worker thanked me but now I'm feeling maybe I shouldn't have said that (too late) -
Death of a child changes your life forever - death of a child changes your outlook on life - death of a child messes with your identity, hurts so bad that you can't even breathe, death of my daughter, Jennifer, feels like I've lost my legs and I'm learning how to walk again....a child moving out because she's angry???? the kicker is, my co-worker in her "not knowing" said - I now know how you feel.....I kept my mouth shut, walked away knowing in my heart, "no you don't but that's okay - it's all relative - the pain that she is experiencing...is devastating to her..SIGH.......
Okay - I've journaled it out....so grateful you are here everytime, anytime. Sending much love, Vicki
Replies
Dearest Vicky Like we say ((UNTIL YOU HAVE WALKED IN MY SHOES GIVE ME NO ADVICE OR JUDGE ME))) sShe has never lost a child and does,nt even comprehend your pain or loss,. I don,t think you did one thing. wrong. It is sad how someone ccould compare a kid staying out all night to the death of a child. She sounds young and foolish to me. She needs to grow up. not you you are kind and good. Try not to worry about it. consider the source. Bless your angel big hugs and love mary ann