Mother's Day
I woke up this morning feeling like I can't breathe....I know it's a mind set that affects ones mood, ones day, BUT I feel like I am in a hole trying to climb out and my feet keep slipping....my daughter is not at the top of that hole holding out her hand to me. My daughter is not here today. I'm in a puddle of tears, gut wrenching pain..My mom and daughter are together.....I'm not there...I've always been there...why am I still here without them?????? Am I going to make it through this day SOTH? I sure don't feel like it now....Sigh....JUST BREATHE.....CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY......
Replies
Dearest Vicki.....Your grief is just so raw right now, that I know there are no words that can lighten your sorrow. I also know, having traveled 5 years on this path, that with each passing year we learn how to manage our broken hearts so that we can continue to move along our own souls\' time line.
I consumed myself with reading over the first years after losing Chris, there are so many resources available, and they do help. A quote that has stayed with me from the first days came from a book about \"near death\" experience, it was from a little girl who saw Jesus, sat on his lap, and came back here to share what he told her. She said that He was really nice, and told her that, \"Life is for the living, and the Light is for later\".
These words have helped me to remember that we will all go home someday, and the gift of life here and now is so very precious. It is a Great Mystery, one that we will understand in our own time. The cycle is infinite, we are born and reborn into spirit, it is the experience of Creation.
That you could find comfort in reading my poem to Chris gives me a very precious gift on this Mothers Day.
Tight hugs and love to you and beautiful Jennifer in Heaven.
Rebecca
Oh Vicki. I wish I could be there to cry with you. There is nothing I can say that will make it better. I envision my mom and daughter laughing and enjoying their new \'life\' without the stress and strain and worry. Mom and Lisa were the worlds worry champions!
Why are we still here? I have no idea, and frankly, I am not at all pleased. I wish with all my heart that it had been me, not Lisa. In the meantime, I am trying to make my life as meaningful as I can.
Deep breaths - one minute at a time.
Love and caring hugs to you and Jennifer.
Marlene
I\'m so sorry, Vicki -- thinking of you and hoping the pain lessons throughout the day and you can remember the good times and happy memories with Jennifer and your Mom and let that help you get through this day. Love and peace -- Laura
tis is just another sunday.... to me..I did the groceries,, laundry,, cleaning,,,, kids coming for dinner so I will; cook and clean that up..... just another day..... love ya!
You will do whatever you need to do to make it through this day. It will be over and you will awaken to a new day and look back and realize that you made it not really knowing how but YOU will.
Take my hand and walk with me as I grab onto another\'s mother\'s hand and onward we will go...
You can do this and are dearest Vicki and I\'m SO sorry for the rawness of your anguish and sorrow. It is just such a hard place to BE... I know, sweet friend, I know...
Loving care and keep taking those deep breaths,
XO Joanie
No words, just tight hugs
Marylou
You WILL make it through this day. This is my fourth mother\'s day without my only child, my precious daughter. I have learned over the past three + years that my mind often shields me and the next day, or even more, are quite bad. I guess tomorrow will give me the answer. You know what I did today? After Mass, I came home and groomed my dog, a nurturing thing, and then I watched \"Schindler\'s List\". I saw the agony and horror and realized there have been millions of mothers who have lost children in the most tragic of circumstances. We are not alone. Mary stood at the foot of the cross, confused, horrified, in absolutely agony. I very much doubt John Lennon knew what he was doing when he wrote the song in the link below, but it has always spoken to me from my Mammon Marie. There will be an answer. Let it be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcBnJw-H2wQ
((((Big Warm Hugs))))).....Julia
Sorry, my friend. I just read this. Mother\'s dayy is truly the most difficult for me. You & I lost our only child and I feel like not only do we grieve a child but we grieve our identity as a mother. There are so many layers to this journey for all of us. Tightest of hugs, Linda
Like Nora said it is just another day. My daughter did not even wish me a Happy Mothers Day. So it is a lost day especially when a living daughter cannot say a thing. My so would never forget. My Mom died when I turned 15 so I have spent many Mothers Days without her. I cry with you ...
Hugs Penny