The day after...

So last night after writing I realized that something needed to change, majorly. My other half as missing college to look after me today. Last night we briefly talked about our situation. I need a better quality of care, I need someone with me more full time than part time so either she needs to give up college, for a year or however long to care for me, or I need to move out and live with my mother who would have to give up her job to care for me. Or I move out alone or with Lori and get a full time carer. If we do the last option we would struggle for money, in the second we would have to move away from a town I am finally settling in and I would have to live separately to Lori & my mum would have to give up her job. But the first is the one that seems easiest but is mentally hardest as I am asking my partner to give up her dream and livelihood to care for me and that is both cruel to her and heart-wrenching for me. I already hate myself for not being the partner I should be. Asking her to give up everything she's worked for;that's so f*cked up. We haven't really talked much today. I feel like my life is at a crossroads and i don't know which way to turn. Change scares me but I also know that some times it's for the better. For the greater good I just hope this is one of those things and it'll turn out okay in the end.