Gotta love doctors and shrinks, not. They want me to tell them how I feel and what I think so I tell them to an extent. Thats not saying I don't want to be better thats saying I know better than to risk getting locked up at the state hospital cuz that hospital is bad and I ain't going there ever, even if that makes me seem somewhat better on the outside than I actually am. Then again I did it for 23 years and noone knew so why would they notice now?