Wow what to say not exactly sure nor how to say all the thoughts in my head. It's so weird growing up one way doing so much in life and then going through ECT and losing so much. I strain to remember and man I wish there was so much I wish I did, like knowing my dad has a sister that I'm "super close" with or so I'm told. I seem to cry all the time because people are telling me and showing me pictures of my life that I can't recall it's horrible and I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do about it. My mom and brother both help me out with some questions I have and my dad well he is his usual self trying to block out that I can't remember because it hurts too much. The worst part is I feel I started a down hill cycle now because my mom keeps asking me questions all day and rather than explain what I do remember about things I just say yea I know that stuff even if I don't just cuz thinking about things I have done and not remembering it sucks and I just like blocking it out and trying to have fun. Well that's all I got for now.